My Resolution

I got it. The next level.

To surrender.

Ive been saying, partly in jest - that Im in California trying to open my mind without losing it.

In short, I want to open my point of view without surrendering to it.

We often joke about the things that make us uncomfortable.

Surrendering. Submitting.

Guh.

Its a frightening thought.

Ask any Virgo.

That he may secure some liberty he makes a surrender in trust of the whole of it. --Burke.

Virgo's are known for their aversion to surrender. They despise themselves when they fall prey to emotion, temptation. Love.

We are known, particularly in our own minds, for certain things we WONT do, borders we wont cross or violate and if we do - we do them under duress, frustration anger .. or if we surrender.

Someone said.. "What you mean is 'acceptance'.
"No, I mean 'surrender' ".
"Same thing."
"No."

acceptance
\Ac*cept"ance\, n. 1. The act of accepting; a receiving what is offered, with approbation, satisfaction, or acquiescence;

And then..

surrender
\Sur*ren"der\, v. i. To give up one's self into the power of another; to yield, seeing no way of escape.
\Sur*ren"der\, n. 1. The act of surrendering; the act of yielding, or resigning one's person, or the possession of something, into the power of another.

Acceptance is a trip in the park compared to the prospect of surrending.

Ive been thinking over this theme for some time, without being able to define it. No, what I need to do is deeper than acceptance.

I have to yield. Maybe even.. *shudder*.. submit.

To what?

I think..... to..

Myself.

Maybe.

Im not sure Im able to explain why - but I do know this is necessary.