Just be

Dude, what happened?
My laptop, I dont know where my laptop is.

YOU'RE KIDDING??????????????

Its nowhere to be found.


Urg. All that time I spent upgrading and working on it. Wasted. All that money on RAM and a new hard drive. Gone.

What truly pissed me off was that *I* was more determined to find it than he was.

I put my heart into shit. Ive literally stumbled into the hospital because of the stress of work. I take things way more seriously than often warrants, its because I do it because I want to, rarely because Im simply getting paid.

So - for my own peace of mind, I have to do it again... detach and just let it be.

Its out of my control.

I cant sweat the guy, cuz its his property, not mine. He's out thousands, not me.

Its not my pain, so why get so worked up about it?

Fuck it.

A long time ago, I had a co-worker who actually had a button made that said "Its not my job." He wore the thing every day.

I still remember it. Big, with florid purple letters - "Its Not My Yob".

This was his mantra, which allowed him to not not waste his time, sweat the small stuff, the pettiness or the silly people..

Fuck that his bosses didnt like it, or it pissed people off. He didnt care, as they could do nothing about it. He was right.

All he had to concentrate on were the things he was concerned about, the things he was paid to do. Everything else was simply not his concern.

A couple of years ago, I got bent horribly out of shape over some girl. Eventually a thought occurred to me.. "This isnt my job. Its her boyfriends job - the one she chose for the job - to deal with her lies, her whims, her dreams. Not mine. It aint my job.".

I wish I could say that immediately gave me the freedom to just be, it took awhile longer. She was used to the juice of my affection and didnt want to give that up - nor her freedom.

*laffs* Its funny now. I was pissed at her for something that was in my control.. it wasnt her job either.

Eh, I was stupid. Her freedom wasnt mine to give her anyway, not my job.

So laptop gone? Fine. You dont want to confront someone who might have taken it? Not my job. Go get another one.

Why keep myself overly locked up over something that isnt mine anyway. She wasnt ever really mine to hold. Nor is another man's property.

Heh, it isnt my job.

I wonder how old Mr Johannsen is these days?

I want to give him another button, thanking him for the wise words.

It'll say "Just be".

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Heheh, knowing him - he'd prolly chuckle and say "I already knew this, Joe." :-)

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[Update]
You know what.. I gotta be me. If he needs help, I'll do what I can.

He's my friend.