Freedom aint free, but it is sweeter when earned... and appreciated.


There are times when I feel stuck, obligated by honor, promises, boasts and inertia (as well as poverty).

But, I feel free.

Ive been released from any obligations, good or bad.. I dont have to be nice or good. I can just be.

Now, of course attendant with that comes homelessness, poverty and day to day uncertainty.

Eh, what else is new. That'll pass.

And all that will be left are my deeds, trails and work.

Which is all that matters.

As the dying man in "Saving Private Ryan" said to the boy whose life he and other dead people came to save..

"EARN this!"

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The cop, the shelter worker, the cellphone salesgirl and the homeless guy today all said the same thing and even in the same way... :

"Why are you leaving Berkeley?? Its a good place to be! You should stay."

And I went into the litany of chilliness and poverty.

Still, these past few days of having to fend directly with the unknown have shown me the .. true warmth and compassion that is in this area.

Even seeing and warmly greetin people that Ive developed .. warmth.. being glad to see and catching up with them.

Its little things, but for the first time, Im seeing - a down home warmth.

Even in yuppified Berkeley. Which really isnt Berkeley.

Its people who go back to where they came.

In all kinds of ways.

And for the first time in years I felt a twinge, and something made me say each time..

"I dont think I'll be gone long. I may be back."