"My name is Joe, and I dont technically qualify to be here. Yet."

I dont use drugs. I hardly ever drink.
Cuz, I have the personality. Im scared of diving off the deep end.
Im afraid I will LIKE it and never come back up.

My life-long reputation is that of a sober tee-totaler.

So, this isnt a trivial thing for me.

"That day when we talked, I was gonna go buy and use. Heavily. You saved me, man."
"I did?"
"Yeah, I was gonna go get fucked up THAT DAY, but you talked to me and told me I was fucking up and realize that its time to go into (a local Berkeley recovery program)."
"Wow. I didnt realize that."
"Yeah man, thank you."

"The irony about that is that..."
"What?"
"Remember I told you that this year, I set myself about learning to surrender?"
"Yeah, I remember."
"So, this year.. Ive surrendered to my fears, to love, to suffering.."
"Yeah?"
"Now, Im wondering if it isnt time to try some of those stuff that 98 percent of Californians indulge in."
"Why?"
"I dont know, something I may have to do to go beyond myself... Hell, Ive always wanted to know what those acid trips are LIKE."

"Oh. You know..."
"What?"
"As an artist, I highly recommend it."
"Ah shit. :-) "
-------------
"DONT."
"Hm?"
"Man, Ive tried pretty much everything.. it aint all that. Dont do it."
"Yeah. Still, when I was in South Florida.. and people were like.. 'man, ya gotta try things at least ONCE'. There's something to that. I think its the next step."
"No, dont do it."
"Hm, still..."
"Look, people around here RESPECT you because youre not like them. You dont indulge.. And if you did that, they would lose respect for you, big time."
"Yeah, my reputation. I know. Still.."
"No, Joe. Dont."

Surrendering aint easy.

Maybe I should just grow dreads, eh..