Aha

Today's horrorscope sez

You don't have to do what everyone else is doing. You don't have to show your face or make a spectacle of yourself.
Today's cosmic setup suggests that what you most want to do is spend some time by yourself and think through issues that are important to you.
You don't have to be the life and soul of the party every day of the week.

Heh. What party.

Someone has actually been keeping count...

I have turned down 11 party invites, numerous invites to hang out with folk, 3 rides up Mount Diablo..

In the last 2 months. Yup.

..oh, and 2 passover dinners. Today.

Wow.

Eh.
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Shit.

I figured out what it is Ive been looking for.

Turns out it was in a book I picked up this afternoon, Killer Instinct by Jane Hamsher.

To wit..

He once told me something that has become my most enduring mantra in Hollywood: "The sign of a good businessman is the ability to know reality."

In other words, not to let your hopes and dreams skew your vision of what is really happening.

This bit of hard advice didnt quite sink in (like trying to tell a 20something person what going past the age of 30 REALLY means), so I kept on reading thru a couple more pages until..

... on and on for three hours, I tried to educate him on the technicalities of film production. This exercise was not inspiring confidence.

People who were unprepared, who wanted to wait for the mood to strike them on the set for such decisions, often did so because they had no vision.
On the set they'd be overcome by indecision - or worse yet make decisions just to make them...

YOW.

Ive been looking for a PLAN.

Right now, I dont need inspiration, travel or a great lovelife.

I need a detailed storyboard, flatplan, blueprint, project flowchart for every single effing project Im doing.

DUHR!

I know. Im embarrassing myself by admitting to my stupidity.

I knew I needed to do them..eventually .. having laid out everything in my head, thinking I just needed project software, a notebook to scribble layouts.. but I hadnt realized that I had come to the point, hell, gone *past* the point where I need to lay out Detailed. Effing. Plans.

Gah.

Of course I cant keep all this shit in my head.

Okay.

Where is my notepad?

Shit.
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