Da' crucible o' crap

Changes are afoot.

Id blame it on merc retrograde, as it often signals periods of changes, but nah.

I take responsiblity for these things.

As painful as they are, these changes, there is a good thing about 'em this time:

Theyre mine. No one is doing unto me, but me myself and I, Ive decided.

Im choosing and forcing the changes. THis, a welcome change from having things being done unto me.

No more.

There are some things I cant control, so I try not to worry about them, although the way I internalize my feelings, its bad for me.

I can see it physically. That also has to change.

Still tho, this crucible, the forcing of change, means Im losing a lot of myself for the greater good and transformation.

I chose this, and thats why its good.

Even as it means the losing of my innocence.

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JPennant: I dunno tish
JPennant: sometimes I wonder if I REALLY need to keep eating the crap sandwich
tysha: well.. that's for you to decide
JPennant: already decided
tysha: :-)
JPennant: its like forcing yourself to eat vegetables
tysha: yeah
JPennant: funny thing about it
JPennant: everything happening is because I chose it
JPennant: and thats exhilerating
tysha: well.. you have to help yourself .. :-)
JPennant: you know me, Im beyond stubborn
tysha: that much i know
JPennant: heheh
JPennant: but thats ok
tysha: so have you had dinner as yet?
JPennant: yeah, Im fine
tysha: cool
tysha: i'm off.. haven't had dinner as yet..
JPennant: Im well fed, I bathe daily and I wear clean clothes
tysha: that's good
JPennant: go eat hon
tysha: i will.. :-)
JPennant: ((hug))
JPennant: thank you
tysha: you have a good night.. (hugs)
JPennant: you too
tysha: bye

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Another month and a half of this nonsense, is what I tell myself.