Where Im at.

Bursts of creative ideas leading to the exciting possibilities of making money, combined with the frustration of bounded ambition (bounded by fear of failure and lack o' capital), along with the determination of realizing that the ball is rolling, and to get off would be disastrous.

Uh, yeah.

It looks good, but requires a lot of pepto-bismol.
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Soft living

"Doesnt it feel good to be able to kick back in front of the TV, good food, warm bed?"

"Mmmm, actually - I kinda like not having watched any TV in the last year, Ive grown to crave fresh air, and I really need my freedom. The only thing Im gigging on is the warmth."

"Yeah, the fresh air."
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After the haole's left, the filipino/Ilokani/Hawai'ian chica quietly said:

"The reason I help out and volunteer is because my father was in a homeless shelter for two years."

She admitted this after I repeated my statement that half the folk in Berkeley had been homeless, living in a car or sleeping on couches..

But, she waited until all her colleagues from St Mary's College had left, and stayed after to tell us this.

She didnt want her peers to know.

I told her how to spot the homeless Cal- Berkeley students, if only to make her feel a little better.

Such a stigmata, the word homeless.

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"Welcome home, perfesser."

"I hope this isnt permanent."

"No, no, heck no."

Ive got too much to do.. no backsliding.

If Ive come to appreciate only one thing after this experience is that...

All of this is tenuous. Nothing is solid or guaranteed.

Yeah, complacency is a killer.

In fact, the best line Ive heard over the last few days was of a man summing up his experiences of being clean and sober for 10 years and then finding himself drowning in the depths again...

"Its when you feel youve got everything under control, is when it gets you."

If you dont know what that means, or cant even begin to relate, it means youve got a lotta living to go.