Saturday, April 08, 2006

Me - setting off on my most life changing journey

This picture has deep significance for me. It's me setting off on a journey that lasted for over a year.

I look at this person and say "dude, you were one brave idiot".

I think the biggest change that the experience wrought, which I think was unexpected - is that I keep a distance from people. It deepened my natural tendencies, I think.

I dont get close to anyone anymore. I dont open myself up. Im more comfortable by myself. In fact, I maintain my distance.

At first, it was a reaction to realizing that when I took that step, I had to depend on no one but myself. Then it was reinforced by how people treated me, most of my real life as well as my online 'friends', when they classified me on a lower social standing.

"Dirty talon."

And it got reinforced some more.

Ironically, during that time, my social and sexual life was never more active. Probably because I was out and about.

But now, I treasure my little space.

No, im not a hermit, nor am I a recluse.

But i do prefer to be alone with myself.

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