Ruminating

On rotation

erykah badu - green eyes
dana owens - simply beautiful
the carpenters - every sha la la la
the carpenters - rainy days and mondays
the emotions - flowers

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Talking to myself and feelin' old
sometimes I'd like to quit
nothing ever seems to fit

What Ive got
they used to call the blues
nothing is really wrong
feeling like i dont belong

What I feel has come and gone before
no need to talk it out
we know what its all about

- Rainy days and mondays

Golden Gate warning sign

Golden Gate warning sign, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

A yes/no meme via Fred

The Rules:
1. You can only say YES or NO!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone comments to the entry and asks.

Taken a picture naked? Yes
Made out with a member of the same sex? No
Danced in front of your mirror? Yes
Told a lie? Yes
Gotten in a car with people you just met? Yes
Been in a fist fight? Yes
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Yes
Been arrested? No
Left your house without telling your parents? Yes
Ditched school to do something more fun? Yes
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yes
Seen someone die? Yes
Kissed a picture? No
Slept in until 3? Yes
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yes
Played dress up? No
Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes
Felt an earthquake? Yes
Touched a snake? No
Ran a red light? Yes
Had detention? Yes
Been in a car accident? No
Pole danced? No
Been lost? Yes
Sang karaoke? No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
Kissed in the rain? Yes
Sang in the shower? Yes
Got your tongue stuck to a pole? Yes
Ever gone to school partially naked? No
Sat on a roof top? Yes
Played chicken? Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? No
Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? Yes
Broken a bone? Yes
Mooned/flashed someone? No
Forgotten someone's name? Yes
Slept naked? Yes
Blacked out from drinking? No
Played a prank on someone? Yes
Felt like killing someone? Yes
Made a parent cry? Yes
Cried over someone? Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? No
Had/Have a dog? ? Yes
Been in a band? No
Drank 25 sodas in a day....aka POP? No
Shot a gun? No

As soon as he moved, I clicked the shutter.

As soon as he moved, I clicked the shutter., originally uploaded by Itinerant.

As soon as he moved, I clicked the shutter.

He had been giving her a long kiss, and I waited for him to move.

By the look on her face, apparently he is one HELLUVA kisser.

Ready for the cable car ride.

Ready for the cable car ride., originally uploaded by Itinerant.

I dont ride up front on the Powell line cable cars anymore. They crowd people on the step and youve got people between your legs and in your face.

Nah, I'll pass. :)

Money makes you happy

Money makes you happy, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

Kids in a coffee store

Kids in a coffee store, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

Foggy sunrise

Foggy sunrise, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

Windows and condiments

Windows and condiments, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

Le Apple Pie ala mode

Le Apple Pie ala mode, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

The handoff

The handoff, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

Gah. i almost caught where he slipped him the tip. So quick and smooth.

Union Square reflections

Union Square reflections, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

That cable car grin

That cable car grin, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

It's not you, it's me.

Today's horrorscope

Everything in your life can change. Today, figure out which things are going to.

Develop your abilities to adapt and improvise, and you'll be able to face the future fearlessly. Once you accept that change and fluctuation are a part of your life, you'll be able to make great strides forward.

Already on it.

By the end of this year, I should be living a different life than I am now.

Over the last few years, Ive been holding back on doing the things I want to do. Now Im done holding back.

Things are coming together.

I should trust the process more than I do, but fear is inevitable if you have any sense.
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While living in Berkeley, I met many folk who I respect and admire. That theyve made mistakes in their lives is undeniable, and theyre struggling to regain what theyve lost is not a sure thing.

Ive learned a lot from them - one being this: "Work on yourself before you work on your problems." Most definitely.

One of the wonders of growing older and gaining experience is the realization of how much you dont know and how much you didnt know previously. Far from being frustrating, it's an indication of growth, although I will look back and think "Jeez, how ignorant was I?".

And thats just yesterday. :)
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One of the more painful things is to consciously shed people you care for. Thats not an easy decision and not an easy thing to do if youre doing it from love. Basically, I have to love myself more.

I'll say this as an explanation for those who think they might be one of those people: its not about you, it's me.

If Im angry at you, thats my issue. If I have to seperate from your orbit, its because I need to feel better about myself. You are who you are. If I cannot handle it, that's me. Not you.

An ex once said that I avoid conflict. She saw this as a sign of weakness. Actually, I avoid conflict because ... I like to fight. As another once said in surprise after knowing me for 4 years, "You are no teddy bear, are you."
Nope. I have claws.

So, if someone makes me angry, the best thing I can do is to get away from them.

I just dont like being around people who piss me off. I get away from them.

Dont mistake my detachment for not caring.
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Breakfast reading

Breakfast reading, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

Coffee cuts

Coffee cuts, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

Out with friend Risa

Out with friend Risa, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

Ring shopping in chinatown.

Its a Risa thing.

Out with friend Risa

Out with friend Risa, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

Due diligence using jedi mind tricks

After work yesterday, i wandered over to ye olde camera store to fondle, err - examine the next camera purchase.

First impressions were good, the feel was good, controls I can decipher etc etc. nothing to change my mind. A good dsLR to start off with.

I was happy. Next paycheck, the camera would be mine.

Until, the salesgirl started talking about lenses. Thats when the shock & pain started.

For a hundred bux more, I get the kit lens. For 400 bux more, the kit lens that comes with the Nikon D70. For 750 bux, the nice all in one lens that is sold with the Nikon D200. The nice one. The one everyone can use. Which is sold out everywhere.

By the time she was finished talking about lenses, BASIC lenses at that - we were talking about 1400 bux extra.

And the really, really nice lens, the one I really want to start off with is 2 grand.

urgh.

The dilemma is - do i get cheaper lenses I can afford and deal with inferior images, which is NOT the reason Im making the move to more expensive gear - or suck it up and buy good stuff and eat ramen for a year?

Well, i am one persistent bugger - so I know there are ways of getting around this short of hacking into a bank (armed robbery is so passe).

It's a commitment and investment, so i better man up and bleed money. :)

From "10" magazine

From "10" magazine, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

Halle Berry for versace

As Digital Underground's Shock G put it

"Vanessa Williams. Oooh.. I just wanted to put you into my rhyme.."

Ooh, Halle... :)

clothes lines are illegal in california

clothes lines are illegal in california, originally uploaded by Itinerant.

Bad patient
I suspected there was an ulterior reason for my knee to blow, and sure nuff i found out why.

It was to finally get my ass to the doctor.

See, unless there is something seriously wrong, there is no way in HAIL I ever hie thee over to the medical industrial complex.

I may act like a big baby when Im sick, (the secret Virgoan hypochondria *cough*), but I actually have a high tolerance for real pain.

So, this was not trivial.

Here is the trippy part. I hobble from work to bus to the ER for them to look at my knee. The ER nurse checks my vitals and informs scolds me that my blood pressure is off the scale. (My boss wryly noted i shouldnt have been reaming her a new one before going to the hospital, but hey - Im not shy when folk irritate me with silly shytte.)

So, Dr Mei (way cool doctor) was far more interested in my high blood pressure and diabetic condition than my inflamed knee, which had - almost miraculously - gone way down in size in the short distance between the ER and the clinic.

She confirmed it by the ER nurse's notes which read "acute pain, swollen knee" and noted that pain was largely gone and had deflated down to normal size (comparing it with my other knee). In one block and a 10 minute wait to see the doc. I am not kidding. I thought I was gonna need surgery on the thing.

So, Im now fasting before a blood test in the morrow, which I would never have gone for the pain of my now 80 percent better traiterous knee.

Weirdly, I was happy for this when I left the medical industrial campus complex. Probably because my knee was getting better and I didnt need surgery...

It's all in how you look at it.