It's Summer. Take a jacket to the lovefest.

From Rich DelVecchio's "Living in the Bay Area: A test of economics and priorities"

My wife and I moved here almost 20 years ago from back East. For years we were ambivalent, halting between the coasts, between snow and sun, till having three kids forced us to go for broke. But which way to break?

One of my oldest newspaper colleagues told me back in about '85 that I'd be seduced by the weather. I wouldn't, couldn't, go back.

Preposterous, I said. Further, I loved the snow -- the silences, the romantic blizzards, the guiltless hibernation.

The ever-smiling sun didn't look friendly to me. I took it as a taunt to get out and do something social or visibly creative every 15 minutes. It wore me out, and I don't think I'm the only one.

Still, the sun worked its spell as my colleague said it would.

Is it the sun?

Dude, today is the summer solstice, and it was COLD and foggy today.

In fact, as a performing duo in the park wryly commented to an audience shivering frm the chill wind whistling through the park:

"Summer solstice in Berkeley, eh?"

The sun did come out and burned off the fog and cloud cover an hour later, warming everyone into an easygoing place.

Still...

After staring into an empty refrigerator the other day and muttering about the latest budgetary insanity, my wife says with no irony at all: "I love California." I have to admit I'll go along with that.

Im not quite there yet, as Im still *filled* with irony, but I might be getting there.

For the record, its the blue skies.

Island Dreaming

I finally got around to seeing the Sandler flick "First 50 Dates".

Im sure the Hawaii depicted in this flick aint exactly the real Hawaii (Rob Schneider's accent sounded like a cross between pidgin and jamaican patois), but the scenery in the place had my fingers twitching on an imaginary shutter.

I need to talk to the hippies to find out the best way to do it. Dunno which island tho. (Most of the hippies I know in the Bay go to Maui for some reason..)

Some have suggested I go and take pictures of tourists to support myself while taking stock images.

But if I wanna go work as a photographer there, people are advising me to have my passport up to date.

Yeah, Im feening.

I just gotta get the financials up to speed.

Hokay.

Long Distance between Hawai'i and Berkeley

JPennant: heya mars.. you married yet?
mars: haha 30 more days
JPennant: well good. :-) how ya doin?
mars: ok. kinda sweaty and stinky from the gym. haha
mars: you?
JPennant: not so sweaty and stinky since I need to go to the gym. ;-)
mars: lol
JPennant: Im fine :-)

mars: so are you still lovin cali?
JPennant: Heh, its got its good and its not so good
mars: how so?
JPennant: except for the deep unemployment, chilly weather and expensive housing, its pretty good
mars: ah yes, all the things i didn't like I about it too
JPennant: yup
mars: but it sure is a pretty place
JPennant: yes it is
JPennant: I was trying to figure out where you lived in the area when you were going to Cal, now that Im getting to know the place a little better
mars: **** fulton street
JPennant: Fulton?
mars: i think it was on the corner of fulton and c****
JPennant: That sounds like where the girl Ive been dating lives...
mars: =P
JPennant: no, really
mars: haha how funny
JPennant: ok, I was thinking you were west of shattuck
mars: oh no
mars: i rarely ventured there
mars: funny thing is, i always think that is south. my direction was always screwed up there
mars: at home here, north is always to the mountains
mars: in berkeley, east is to the mountains
mars: eesh
JPennant: ha! same here, :-)
JPennant: I gotta reorient myself every time :-)
mars: =)
JPennant: Its kinda freaky to wake up and the sky is bright, but there is no sun
JPennant: cuz the sun hasnt come over the mountains yet, and wont for hours
mars: haha yeah true
mars: but i often times got out of the house before it was light out
mars: hehe
JPennant: oh yah, I forgot you worked too
JPennant: *man* it has been awhile
mars: hahah i know!
mars: it was 3 years since i moved back here!
JPennant: dang
JPennant: :-)
JPennant: yeah, time passes
JPennant: Ive been here nearly 2 years now
JPennant: come august
mars: too bad our times in Berkeley didn't overlap
JPennant: eh.. I doubt we woulda hooked up
mars: =P

mars: ok, gotta shower and become not-so-stinky haha
mars: i'll ttyl jp
JPennant: aright hon, you take care ;-)
mars: you too
mars: byebye
JPennant: latah

Du pill bleu, or du pill rouge, m'sieur?

This week's horrorscope goes:

Waking or sleeping, your dreams deliver valuable insight into your next step. So pay attention and take notes.
And instead of dismissing those fantasies as frivolous, meditate on symbols and decipher their messages.

Hrrmm. Well, Ive been having recurring dreams of a slightly odd sort the last coupla weeks.

How do I explain it... well, it seems whenever I enter the dream state, I get to choose 2 levels of dreams, serious, or not so serious.

Otherwise, theyre essentially the same, except one I dont take too seriously, the other has a dark tone to everything.

Oh yeah, Fred - theyre all set in Hawai'i. :-)

So lessee.. Lately, Ive been gripping (not griping) on how its imperative that I make money to do bla blah blah, on the other - Im having fun.

So, I guess I get to decide my outlook and path?

Or as the Dahta said the other day.. "Jesus man, relax, have some fun."

Heh. Good point.

100 ways to motivate

From: Joe Pennant
Date: Tue, 15 Jun 2004 14:41:14 -0700 (PDT)
To: Tim H.
Subject: I need some motivation

Aright Tim,

The damned show is behind me..

I need to get motivated.

I need to make some income.

And most of all.. I need to start taking pictures
again.

Any inspirational words?

Date: Tue, 15 Jun 2004 18:52:52 -0400
Subject: Re: I need some motivation
From: "Tim H."
To: "Joe Pennant"

Don't think it just do it.
Too much thinking means nothing gets done.
Do what you like.
Then figure out how to make money doing it.

Or, alternatively, make money doing what you're really good at, this being I.T.
Then use the money to better photography.

And why can I give you advice and not follow my own?

Heh. Isnt that always the way? (Dont be fooled, he accomplished what he sets out to do.)

Thats prolly the same advice Id give myself, but advice is easier to follow from the outside rather than internally.

Ergo, it sounds like a plan.
--------
While walking in Emeryville to Fred's office, I walked by a innocuous looking door that said "The Linen Life".

I thought it was a place that sold Linen wholesale, and walked on.

Walking back, I noticed the door was open.. and several pristine Mercedes motorcars were parked inside, along with art, a stage and .. other stuff.

Turns out its an art gallery. And more.

I spoke to owner, who said, when I mentioned I was a photographer, answered:

"Bring your pictures, Id like to see them, show them."

Hm.

What interesting, I didnt intend to walk that route before or after....

I wonder if anything will come of this.

I know the Lakers live in another world (Los Angeles).. but theyre thinking of *FIRING* their coach, Phil Jackson?

Whoa.

Apparently, the owner thinks he is not worth 10 mil a year. And Kobe Bryant is worth keeping over him.

Insane.

Ya win 3 championships in five years for a city and you just cant catch a break.

Heh.

I guess its the same mentality that got Arnold to governor of California.

Go Detroit.

Im feening for pictures now.
----

"Oi", I said.. "this looks as if I can have my pizza and eat it too!"

Ive been looking at Nikon's D70 digital single-lens reflex camera.

An affordable Nikon D-SLR. Man, I was dreaming of all the advantages that would spawn...

- 2/3'rds the price of the pro stuff.

- I could buy Nikon and Nikon mount lenses (collectively far more expensive than the cameras themselves) and still be able to use a wide range of cameras, particularly Fuji pro cameras as well as other Nikons.

- The Nikon cachet.

(Looks at price comparisons..)

Rahhhtid.

*sigh* Of course. For Nikon 1200 bux *is* entry level.

Never mind that I can buy a Fuji S2 Pro/Nikon D100 for near the same kinda green.

Ok. Ok. Stick to the original plan...

Slowly accumulate, cheaply.

Ferk Nikon.
-------
Aright .. I go pick up my gummint ID tomorrow.

I open a bank account.

I reactivate my Paypal account.

I go back to having a life again.

That will be nice.

Today:

Yahoo upgraded my email account to 100 megs.

It streamlined my interface.

Its as slow as hell now, but hey - they'll work that out.

However, it did NOT remind me...

That my dear friend Poo's birthday was 10 *&@%#@*& days ago.

I swear, I had it set to notify me. It didnt, as it hasnt for many others.

Im sorry hon...

Happy Belated Birthday.

What happened to the &#^%#% chip that was on my shoulder?!!!

Shit flows downhill but with a little patience, you can use it to grow flowers. - Dr Scott, Medeasin

The frustration has been growing, pondering my current lack of go get 'em ness.

Im starting to wonder if Im losing my edge, my mean surly side, the engine that runs my 'me against the world' persona.

Even cash doesnt motivate me. You can actually buy me off with a (decaf) mocha and a bear claw than you can by offering me thousands of dollars. How fucking sad is that???

Stupid people have been getting away withy snide remarks, people I could make shrivel with an intimidating glare. Now the fuckers are having delusions that they are gottdamned BETTER than me.

This has got to stop.

Ive been getting too *fuckin'* nice here in California.
------

don't give into hate. it will just consume you like that ebola virus.
- gg, Daydreamy.com

Maybe it started when I moved to North Florida in 1990.

I think I became a bigot there.

Particularly in the habit of making a snap judgements based on the dress, gender, features etc.

Now, Im finding myself in the California/Berkeley groove of saying to myself "waitiaminnit, thats not fair".

Im placing snap values on human beings.

But its so automatic, this mechanism.

And to be totally honest - I dont totally want to grow out of this tribal reflex.

But I must.
------------
One of the joys of picture-taking for me was that it engaged both the analytical and instinctual modes.

Along with the writing, it's better than Arts & Crafts in the Wingnut Ward at Bellevue.

I think thats one reason why Ive been slightly on edge lately.

It's time to get back to it.
------
Something Fred excerpted from some tome..

1. Never panic. Stop, breathe, think.
2. No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you. (This is especially important at parties if you feel self-conscious.)
3. Never change haircut or color before an important event.
4. Nothing is either as bad or as good as it seems.
5. Do as you would be done by, e.g., thou shalt not kill.
6. It is better to buy one expensive thing that you really like than several cheap ones that you only quite like.
7. Hardly anything matters: If you get upset, ask yourself, 'Does it really matter?'
8. The key to success lies in how you pick yourself up from failure.
9. Be honest and kind.
10. Only buy clothes that make you feel like doing a small dance.
11. Trust your instincts. Not your overactive imagination.
12. When overwhelmed by disaster, check if there's really a disaster by doing the following: a.) Think oh, f- - - it!; b.) Look on the bright side. If neither of the above works, then maybe it is a disaster so turn to items 1 and 4.
13. Don't expect the world to be safe or life to be fair.
14. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.
15. Don't regret anything. Remember there wasn't anything else that could have happened, given who you were and the state of the world at that moment. The only thing you can change is the present, so learn from the past.

Yeah, its hard trying to remember all that while Going thru life, but yeah, it helps.