Saturday, September 11, 2004
I get emotional
Sometimes I get weepy, irritable, squirelly and sensitive. You just cant tell from the outside, for im a Virgo, see?
When that happens, we try to clamp down hard on those pesky feelings and corral those wayward thoughts. For im a Virgo, see?
My mind goes in tangents, undisciplined, no matter how hard I try.
Compartmentalization of my heart and feelings isnt as easy I make it out to be. No matter what other people might say.
I might be a Virgo, but the fact of the matter is that we ARE emotional, see? No matter how we try to hide and control it.
so, random thoughts, for thats all I can handle for now:
I should get out of San Francisco more often, and not be restricted by the range of my SF Fastpass.
Granted, berkeley seems awful, mmm, small now somehow. Although, to be fair - I never really WENT anywhere but the respective downtowns in the East Bay, cept for appointed appointments so I havent really seen everything to judge how big the place is.
Ironically, as small as San francisco is, theres a zillion more places I can be here.
But where do I go?
When youre out in public, and the urge to pee NOW arises, what do you do? Ha. Trick question. Youre in the big city. Unless youre looking for a public urination ticket, the answer is;
While you scramble for a restaurant, hotel or public building;
A) Hold it in.
B) Hope that you dont get the old 'Our bathrooms are out of order' lie.
C) Scout out relief hatches (haha!) beforehand.
C is what I do in every big city. Learned that the hard way. Im not a cute girl. Im a big black man. I cannot depend on the kindness of strangers.
Downtown SF, Ive pretty much have scoped out, so Im rarely outta range.
ANYHOO .. that brings up this morn. I'd had my LARGE morning decaf, and my hour and a half of bliss was up. However, I had decided to exit downtown by this time, with no particular place in mind.
Ahh, what do you do, what do you do?
In this case, I was on a bus headed out of familiar territory into unscouted, erm, waters.
I decided to head the rush off at the pass and go to where I know. In this case, bailing at the next bus stop, where I knew there was unfettered access at the SF Maritime Museum.
Funny. I had questions about living on a ship, and here I was at a place that was ALL about the history of ships.
So, I spent all morn there, soaking it up. (Stop me, man, Im on a allegory voyage here .. heee *slap knee*).
Been craving certain things all week. Weird.
After the heat, Ive been craving *salty* things.
What with the blood pressure, Im not one for salt anyways.
Unfortunately, with the blood sugar problem, sugar comas are also a real danger for me too.
Hard to balance, what with my carb addictions and all.
But mmmmm, salty things.
So, Ive eaten more nacho doritos in the past day or two, than i have in the last year.
Been craving fries like a *W@&^#ck, but so far Ive not given in. Primarily because the BK on market street charges 2 bux for a large one.
I KNOW, right?
I will be buying another copy of Total Annihilation.
Soon as I find a copy, and have 15 spare bux in my pocket.
Dont try to stop me.
Dont really have anything to say about 9-11.
I left NY partly so that i dont have to.
Looking at News reports from Jamaica, I see a place that is familiar, but looks wholly unfamilar.
Ive been gone far too long.
Hopefully Ma's house will still be intact when i get there.
Gabz has turned me onto a web comeex.
im a shucker for a romantic story line of frustration and obvious troo luv. *shhh, dont tell nobody*
This one, and this one more crax me up.
Cant stand self-righteous vegans.
Wait, that's a double negative, right?
Eh, I'll get through it..
Friday, September 10, 2004
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Back in the 90's Bigbro came back from jamaica with a souvenir t-shirt with the words "Gilbert ruff no rass".
Loosely translated from Patois, that means, said with a tone of awe, "Gilbert was rough as fuck!".
This is an understatement.
Hurricane Gilbert is still referred to as the King of Hurricanes.
Now, we've got Category 5 Hurricane Ivan bearing down on Jamaica, full force.
Gilbert was only a Category 3 hurricane when it tore through Jamaica in 1988.
Ivan the Terrible has us fixed in his sights. We reminisce about Gilbert. We're reminded by the weather experts that he was a Category Three son of a b. Ivan is a Five. We try not to think what the difference could mean.--------
McClint: what kind of hurricane prep can ya do when you live on an island?
JPennant: storm shutters, high ground, concrete houses, prayer
I wasnt joking.
This morn in the shower, i was singing Peggy Lee's - He's A Tramp, (I was sounding GOOD too, I might add), and that came to mind music I used to hear and sing to when I was a kid.
In fact, one of my favorite childhood memories was in my mother's birthplace of Runaway Bay, joining us on our summer vacation from The City, a rare thing. We were on the porch of the Family Minto Big House (my great-grandfather's great house), the radio was playing on a warm early august afternoon, my Ma grabbed us and swing-danced with us to Chubby Checkers - The Twist and other hits from the 40's and 50's, her pleated skirt swinging out wide, pure joy on her face. it was then I could see her as a bobby-soxed teenager in the 50's.
She said she didnt remember such frivolity. :)
A coupla years ago, Poo and I were discussing our favorite old music, and she brought up Louis Jordan's - Caledonia from 1945.
"Caledonia! CALDONIA! WHAT. MAKES. YOUR. BIG. HEAD. SO. HARD!!"
That opening guitar riff kickin' shit off can be heard on many songs from the 50's, 60's and 70's .. ripped wholesale.
So, as i sit here, Im riding the wayback machine with these
Louis Jordan - Aint nobody her but us chickens
Peggy Lee - fever
Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Jordan - Baby, It's Cold outside
Louis Jordan - knock me a kiss
Peggy Lee - Why Dont You do Right
Denise Williams - silly
(I know thats from the 80's, but its in the mix)
Louis Jordan - Choo choo cha boogie
Peggy Lee - He's a Tramp
louis Jordan - Let the good times roll
Peggy Lee w/ Benny Goodman - The Way You Look Tonight
Louis Jordan - Beware, brother, beware
Peggy Lee - Hey Big Spender
Louis Jordan - Got my Mojo Workin'
I may not have been born when they come out, but I appreciate them more now.
Good times, indeed.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
jurassic 5 - concrete schoolyard
The hook just makes me bop my head in the same way cool cats do when theyve got their shades on indoors...
Ok, I might rag on San Francisco (and the Bay) for the chill winds in the middle of summer, but I haveta admit, its baking here.
It's kinda hot, man.
Im not gonna complain tho, fuckit, even as the delicate flowers wilt in the 85 degree heat.
I like it, although Im finding one of the benefits of the natural airconditioning, is that you dont sweat as much.
The peanut gallery might point out that I dont do a helluva lot to sweat anyways, but thats beside da point.
"Summer's here, alright!"
Say the natives.
It takes a lot for me not to be sarcastic.
Like 'You realize summer ENDS around Labor Day?', or "So, I can wear white now?".
sorry shit like that, that I dont say. I just think it. :)
Im enjoying this brief period of warmth and little fog.
im having a ball, thank you. :)
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Some of my friends in Florida have checked in. All are fine, much soaked and flooded, electricity went out a bit, seen some crushed houses via falling trees (happens in every florida storm).
Basically only property damage, so far.
Now, there is hurricane Ivan tearing thru the Lesser Antilles, flattening everything in its path, headed straight to Jamaica.
So, as part of the question and answer session, I asked:
"So, is are we going to be based in San Francisco - or would we have to move to Honolulu?"
The german looked at me as if I were speaking in tongues.
"Like, where would be our homebase?"
He tilted his head quizically. He was actually taken aback at the question.
"Homebase? What do you need of a homebase?!! You will be living on a SHIP free of charge! You will have no expenses. You dont need stuff. If youve got a car here in San Francisco.. sell it. Put your stuff in storage, sell most of it. You'll have thousands in your pocket. Take it and the money you'll be making and buy a house in Honolulu. Rent it out for when youre at sea, make more money. All you need is what you carry with you.
You wont NEED a homebase."
Dude was preaching to the choir. I was grinning as he continued on with the virtues of living light.
Is this what it feels like when you run off with the circus?
There have been seminal points in my life where opportunity pulls up, and all that is required of me to catch that train is to show up at the appointed time.
All indications point to today being such an occasion.
Today's horrorscope sez:
You may be eager for success, but are you ready to take on the responsibilities that go with it? That is the question you must answer today and only when you have done that will you know for sure what your next move must be. Remember, once you have signed on the line, you won't be able to back out of the deal.
Fear of success, maybe.
I am a highly ambitious person, but on my own terms. My ego doesnt need to own the world or the approval of anyone to be satisfied.
This can be taken too far, as Ive found when opportunity knocks, and my needs and wants are coinciding, I suddenly become thoughtful and analytical, and usually deciding the risks arent worth it.
Now that the means to get what I want is again peering through my doorway, apprehension is setting in...
Often, I will expertly sabotage that opportunity.
Need and want are coinciding. And there wont be any turning back if I sign on the bottom line.
The most important thing today is that you keep your long-term goals in mind and do not let anyone talk you into abandoning your quest. So-called friends will come up with all sorts of reasons you should give a second thought to what you are doing, but you must be true to your instincts and not be diverted by anything they say. Only you know what you are capable of.
Nah, no one is trying to talk me out of anything.
I'll know in a week.
Miami first, huh.