Saturday, January 24, 2004

Man, art supplies are expensive.

So, it is with
a perverse sense of .. well, pleasure... that I walk around West Berkeley (mostly industrial, can be cheap.. shhh) and read artists flyers selling artists supplies they dont need.

Heh. Doesnt matter. I cant afford any of it either.

Not right now.
On the corner of Sixth and University:

One has listed on his/her's extremely well-designed flyer - "flat file furniture, drafting table, art supplies, rock..."

A rock?

Thats why I busted out laughing at a busy street corner this morning. :-)

Friday, January 23, 2004

Because Im lazy

Images googled
offa the site just today...

Yar, mostly da usual suspects - but then this one popped up on someone's search.

Heh, all things considered - kinda made me smile.
And unlike me, Bruddah Brian actually found Jamaican patties on the West Coast.

Ok fine, so he hadda go to Canada to find 'em.

I'll keep looking..

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Buck up fella

He comes
up to me, worrying. Worrying that he doesnt have enough money before he gets another check.

I find myself having no sympathy.

I can make a buck stretch like no one's business, and Im proud of this. Hey, Ive had years of practice now. :-) (Let's keep my coffee addiction out of this..)

He freaks if he has ONLY fifty bucks for the weekend. That he ONLY recieves 400 bux a week from unemployment.

I am now sick and tired of tactfully suggesting that he MIGHT have an advantage, that he can live well at this level.

He has no bills, and apart from coffee and cigarettes - no real expenses. He can make his money STRETCH.

And, gawd-amighty, he still whines.

Mira, on the other hand says things like "Do you KNOW what I could DO with 5 grand???? I could turn that around, put on a theatre production, market the hell out of it, DEFINITELY make my money back."

Mira doesnt whine.

She knows the value of money. Respects it.

I respect her.

This guy, on the other hand...


Of course, I used to be like him.

I'd rather be like Mira.

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Today, at our noonish coffee meetup

Me: "Yeah, Im sentimental about things like that. Dont tell nobody."
Mira, *sarcastic*: "Didnt know you were sentimental, Joe."

Heh. Of course she understands.....

Mira and I are good friends.. partly because we treat each other with a weird mixture of detachment and intense emotion. We also motivate each other for the same reason.

That's how we are. Our motivations are very similiar.

If Im doing something purely for myself, Im totally lackadaisical. If Im doing something for others, Im totally there.

This frustrates folk who know me.

Its frustrating for me too. Id rather do for myself.. but Im not built that way.

I have to have someone else to help make THEIR dreams come true, then Im motivated to move mountains.

Otherwise, I aint motivated.

And of course, being poverty stricken - people think Im helpless and NEED help.

Um, not really.

I just need to be motivated.. and its not their job.

It's mine.

So, all Mira asks of me is to help motivate her. As well as myself.

And that *is* what i need.

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

This means nothing to anyone but me...

I am craving black tea, imbued with a crapload of cream and sweetened.

Sorta like what my ma would force on me morning, noon & night growing up as well as in New York.

I had something like that the other night at one of Berkeley's many all-you-can eat Indian restaurants.

It tasted like home.

If home used to be a part of the British Empire.

Today's horrorscopes
Forget about yesterday and the day before that because all that matters now is today and tomorrow and the future you are going to create for yourself.

You must leave your cares and worries behind you and act as if you are starting afresh.

It's not so far from the truth.

You know.. it really isnt.

Love: You may roll your eyes on the subject of romance. Sure, you've had some duds, but you shouldn't let that scare you off completely.

Jump back in because only the cream of the crop comes out tonight.

*eye roll* Sounds like work. Again.
Activities of the monetary kind will be much on your mind today, but you would be wise not to let them take over your thinking completely.

You would also benefit from reminding yourself that in the greater scheme of things, the number of dollars you possess is of no importance.

There are only three things that matter: loving, laughing and learning.

Well yeah, but bright shiny things DO count for something, dont they? :-)

Sunday, January 18, 2004

When in Rome, California....

"Do you meditate?"
"Not really, just breathing exercises."
"Well, you know the mantras that accompany meditation.."
"Ok, instead of repeating 'Nam Myoho Renge Kyo', use affirmations like 'I am strong, healthy, open to life'.. stuff like that."
"I'll try that."

Before I came to California, I woulda humored him and just considered him some misguided hippy.

Now I find myself willing to try this.

As well as other things.

Just about every day:

"Yeah, I saw you at Peets in West Berkeley the other day"

"I saw you at the library computers.."

"I saw you in Chinatown yesterday at that restaurant on the corner.."

"I saw you in East Oakland.."

As a kid, my father would put me through his version of the favorite son routine and take me with him as he made his social rounds.

Invariably, I was profoundly bored.

Being a Libran, no matter how antisocial they are.. are born schmoozers. They cant help it. Theyve gotta socialize.

Not us Virgos. We might like people, but if we prefer to be around people, we prefer close friends.

Unfortunately for pops, he has a Virgo son, and I despised this being around people for the sake of being around people.

Getting me to a party is torture.

To center ourselves (ask any virgo), at some point in the day we need space and solitude. Dont give us this, and we start feeling unbalanced and then become MORE surly than usual.

Where we get our "hard to get along with" reputation.

Dont force us into being more social than we're comfy with. Trust me on this.

Pops never gave up, but he let me be more and more as I grew older.

Here in Berkeley/Oakland, its rare that I go ANYWHERE without being recognized and have to be social. Shit, its getting to the point where I dont even know them, and they know me.

No lie.

This... should be considered a good thing I guess, for (and Im necessarily generalizing here) folk here dont instantly warm up to strangers as people drop in on the California scene and dont always behave.

With this influx, there is a wary screening process, even if folk seem outwardly accepting.

But once youre accepted, you realize that the bay area is truly a small town.

It seems like everybody knows you and there is prolly only 2 degrees of seperation between you and every other denizen of the bay.

On one hand... great folk.

On the other... the anonyminity that is easy to achieve in New York is sorely missed.
Im wearing sandals.

Tevas. They say you can trek cross country in these things.

They seem sorta thin and flimsy little thing, resembling roman sandals.

Whoo, the looks are deceiving. They are comfortable AND tough.

Im loving it.

My feet are loving ME now.

I used to kinda snicker at people walking around in these things. Not anymore. I consider them the height of practicality. (Although I keep a pair of shoes and extra socks in the backpack for wet weather.)

Im also wearing fleece.

Man, Ive changed.