Caffe Loco

Sun is of the opinion, in my decision to give up coffee (well, caffiene) - that Im just plain ..

Cray-Z. Loc'ed. Insane in the brain.

She sez.

Eh. It just the right thing to do.

Yup.

Nothing can make me break this pledge.

Wait, that means I wont be able to have Kona coffee when I get to the Islands?

Hm.

She might be right.
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What's a good hawai'ian pidgin phrase for "crazy"?

I rarely take notes

Every day I wander, drafting things in my head.

By the time I get to a computer.. I cant remember any of it.

So, random things...
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Its springtime.

The temperatures are steadily rising, even as it continues to be breathtakingly cold at night.
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You know...

Im saving money not drinking coffee.

Man.
----
Lotta snafus and weirdness...

"The full moon?" said a random person

The full moon.

Yar.
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Random pix from 2002







































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Cutting Corners Can Be Hazardous

I did something this morn that Im not proud of.

I got caught and got called on it.

I was properly remorseful and all, but...

I wasnt as bothered by it as much as I should be.

Even as my reputation took a dent.

THAT bothers me.

That means my standards are slipping. Maybe its good this happened...

Although, maybe The Dark Side has something to teach.

But maybe I just need to watch myself.

Cuz this business of cutting corners is leaving me with a slimy feeling.
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I think a part of me has definitely changed tho.

And I think its a good thing.

The danger of money

Lately, Ive noticed ..

.. when I have money to spend, two-thirds of the time Im thinking of ways to spend it.

... when I dont have money, Im swearing to myself that when I DO have cash on hand, I'll only spend it on what I need.

Plus a donut. :-)

My aim is to spend the money I have on just the things I need, and then act like I have none.

Easier said than done, natch.
----
There is always more to spend money on.
--
Heh, of course, I find - no matter how much money I have...

I can never buy all that I want.

Funny how "wants" easily transmorgify into "needs", eh.


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Today's horrorscope cautions:

It's better to focus on what you have rather than on what you want right now. Desires change with the tide. What you need is an anchor.

Sometimes, it is *very* hard to distinguish between "want" and "need".

I think Im getting carried away trying to get everything done now.

You're overextending your reach. Pare back expectations and maybe even renegotiate a deadline.

You'll find yourself back on solid ground.

*breathe* Right on.
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New York mantras:

Never pay retail.

Everything is 5 dollars.

Hee.

Ok, I must admit... a secret wish of mine is to be able to get what I want .. cheap.

You know, "Fell off the back of a truck" cheap.

Like Powerbooks for 250 bux.

Hm.

Still, I firmly believe in the Karma of Stolen Tools.

As in, tools that are stolen never work properly.

The Karma will sour any work done with them.

And that applies to everything stolen thats not needed.

Superstition? Maybe.

But ..

Good thing I dont have much money to play with.

Even if I aint paying retail.

Day Out courtesy of Craigslist

Im at the *new* Apple Store (satisfied, Clint?) in San Fran typing this, whiling away the time.

I have an almost new Epson printer in one hand gotten from a guy in the Haight District, who is leaving SF for, as he put it: "New York, London, wherever", and Im waiting to go see someone who is buying fonts from me at the Metreon.

Uh-huh.

Oh yeah, and DangerousNick has the parts I need to fix my laptop.

Hokay.

Tres surreal.

Thank yew, Craigslist.
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Even though all I did was go to the Haight(Im a tourist, I still say "Height" instead of "Hey-t") and downtown, I feel like I just took a vacation.

Yep. Been in one place far, far too long.

Hm. I feel I could live in SF for a bit, or at least walkabout freely.

With a camera, natch.

It could happen.

Today's horrorscope

What are you waiting for? Why do you hesitate? There seems to be something about your nature that holds you back from taking risks, even quite small ones, and that's a shame because the planets indicate that if you take some kind of a gamble today, it could pay off in a really big way.

Thinking about it is not good enough - you have to do it!

Meh. Nag, nag, nag.. :-)
--
Heh, no.. I kid.

I was thinking along those lines recently.

How we appreciate the things and opportunities less when we do have 'em around to squander.

When we dont, we bemoan our loss of luck.

Now, Im trying to make sure I use what I have to the fullest.

As someone put it to me recently: "I think we do get second chances, but Ive learned that we have to go out and take those chances, just go out and do it."

Thats what Im doing... unlike what I didnt do when I had the chances beforehand.


Know what I mean?

Howl, the sequel

I went walkabout with a camera yesterday.

No, a film camera.. and its not mine. Id thought it was, but no - Im sharing.

And people wonder why I have trust and control issues... Id rather have my own shit than ask for help.

Film cameras made me give up photography when I was younger.

I took 10 images in all.

I wont know how the images will turn out, or if any will.

*gah*

I just want some good equipment to take the images I want, with the freedom to do what I want WHEN I want.

And if it simply falls into my lap, well thats fine with me too.

*sigh* No, I dont.

I want to publish books and stories. Im working toward that.

I want to have enough resources to do what I want when I want. Im working toward that too.

Yeah, the deprivation is worthwhile.

It just dont feel fair, or fun, sometimes.

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I dreamt of Hawaii again last night.

I remember being in Florida and dreaming of California, living in San Francisco.

Those dreams seem now to be waaaaay off base... and yet not.

And it took me awhile to get to Cali.

Last night I realized that I left New York about two years ago.

Ive learned a lot about The God's timetables never coinciding with my own, no matter how hard I try.

And that my dreams do come true.. in a fashion.. just never when I think they will.

So...

I dreamt of Hawai'i last night.

Again.