Saturday, September 27, 2003

I get frustrated.

I wonder when Im gonna have sunshine, a spring in my step and an unlimited pass wherever United Airlines flies.

But no, every livelong day, I gotta celebrate and give thanks for the Richness of Life.


This week's horrorscope:
"Please remember that you are not competing in a sprint, Virgo. You are running a marathon. You should therefore be sure to pace yourself and not be overly concerned about the fast-starters who have sped ahead of you.

I also advise you to clear your beautiful mind of envy and self-doubt, as well as the pushy expectations of people who don't know the intricacies of what you're doing.

Now here's the most important thing: Use your fine mind to figure out how to be motivated by pleasure, not pressure."

Its taking awhile.
We're not even kicking it. Hell, she even turned me down for a date last week.

Still, it feels good.

The laughs come easy, we finish others thoughts, the silences are companionable, the words direct and sometimes the right things are said that make us smile.

"How is OUR thing coming along?" she asked in greeting, with that grin and dimples.

I tried to be stoic, but I hadda grin like an idiot upon hearing it.

"I'll make your coffee. What do you want?"

Heh. No need to say what that phrase means to me. :-)

Nah, we just meet, hang out and chill. Friendly. Ive had to downplay things the last couple of years, so there are no expectations of anything.

Ive been actively avoiding entanglements since the chica left. Too much work after the need for salving my wounds passed. T'aint nuthin fer free in this world.

But it feels good here.

"Its gonna be a sparse life. All I need is a table, a low bed..."
"There has to be a bookshelf for me to keep my books."
"Hm, ok. Bookshelves. Aright.."

As some one said "See where it goes.. "


Friday, September 26, 2003

It's a Trip

There are times I wonder if Im truly wasting my life on my travels.. then I get stuff like this that makes it worthwhile, from Angeline (the originator of the title of this blog), as she picks the pictures she considers print and show worthy.
(comment in a March 2nd, 2001 entry--"but I would honestly like to be recognized more for my writing than for the pictures I take.")
Nah. Be equally recognized for both, 'cause yer good at both, and the melding of the two is gourmet brain food.




Looking back at images through other peoples eyes has been a SERIOUS trip. Their choices are making even ME go "Whoa", and I *took* the images.

I cant print them all, natch - but Im definitely gonna look into other ways of using them.

Comment from GG
there is one that sort of comes to mind. i think it was miami (or maybe south beach?) which had a view of the water, and the sky. and i think it was raining too. i hope you know which one i am talking about.

I THINK I know which ones, but not the particular one.

It was actually Fort Lauderdale Beach, and a thunderstorm was rolling onshore through the sunrise.

Which one, gg?

Yeah, its amazing looking through these through other people's eyes.

Keep 'em coming.

To Live and Work in LA

"I just finished reading a book called 'How To Be An Actor in Los Angeles' ".
"Yeah, what did it say you should do.."
"Hmm, lessee - To find a job, treat hunting for acting work as a job, stash away money, work hard, fail a lot, get your union card..."
"Be sexually promiscuous."
"Nooo, I dont think it covered that. :-)"
"Its one of the unwritten rules in Los Angeles."
"Gotta screw your way up, eh."
"Yup. F'rinstance, remember Victoria Principal?"
"Well, before 'Falcon Crest', she was William Holden's house toy."
"House toy?"
"Yeah. He had her f*** anyone who came to her house as hospitality. When she became a big movie star, she was suddenly Miss Goodie Two-Shoes."
"No exceptions, eh?"
"Few and far between my man, few and far between..."

As I checked the book out, the library clerk said, grinning..

"Say hello to Denzel for me."
"Huh? Oh. Nah, Im just reading it for research. Im no actor."
"Still, if you see him.."


Tuesday, September 23, 2003

I coulda been a Photo Editah

Prince (the artist who named himself that among other things) once remarked upon the decline of his offerings thusly:
"I used to be one hell of an editor"

I paraphrase as he, naturally, referred to himself in the third person.

But his point was, he knew how to ruthlessly edit his choices so that his offerings were first rate.

I get that now, as Im having difficulty pulling together collections (hard as hell when you dont have all your pics on hand, but Im working on that..)

So, to my 2 loyal readers.. help.

I suck at this.

Poo, Angeline, Kate, George, Cyn, Jenny, RayRay, all y'all:

All I ask is this...

Which of the pics over the years, would you like to see mounted on a wall?

Pick as many as you like, ramble through the archives, on company time even.

Im gonna pare it down 20 or 25 collections of prints (hella yes Im ambitious), and I cant guarantee that I WILL print all the choices, but Im looking for different sets of eyes.

Iz all I ask.

Email, comment, yaddayaddayadda. Just tell me what ya like.

Thank you.

The Art of Moving On

A stunning realization in one's life is that people will usually do just fine without you around.

Sure they may miss you, wonder how youre doing et al, but they will usually find ways to fill their life.

Sometimes, they dont even mind if they see less of you than they already do.

Ive become cool with that. Which is why Ive trained myself (and the people who know me halfway well) to drop out given half a chance, and indulge in my penchant for liking my own company.

So with no phone, the computer doing a good impression of a Norwegian Blue pining for the fjords, and limited hours on the public library computers, I like to think Im hardly missed.

I do have a chink in my anti-social armor tho. If Im needed, I will try to make myself available. Otherwise, I will happily indulge in my disconnect.

Im doing fine.

To all that have checked in tho, thank you for seeing if Ive been ok.

Means a lot.
Of course, not having had any coffee these last coupla days means I aint gonna be making lotsa effort to be sociable, nah?

Monday, September 22, 2003

I like the genuine compliments

LilBro gave me a compliment the other day, when I turned down an offer of help.

"Yeah, things get tough, you just deal. You always do."

A compliment from someone who DOES know me, not one from someone who thinks they do.
So, the damage from this quarter's merc retrograde

- One dead camera
- A virus attack that threatens to wipe out my work over the last year.
- And the usual and assorted blows to my psyche.


Not so bad.

Stella was due to expire anyhoo, and not having a camera is forcing me to concentrate on the things that need to be done.

She'll be replaced by 3 cameras, the hustles to finance that are falling into place.

This virus attack took me (and Norton Antivirus) by surprise. Again. I thought I had dealt with it in June, but it lay dormant and re-surfaced just as I physically repaired the laptop.

Talk about timing.

Tough lil bugger too, still havent identified it, but I purposely had it infect a floppy before I nuked the MBR's.

At the very least, I can now go about recovering the data without some pesky virus scrambling it all to kingdom come.

Of course, now I need some tools to do this...

Assorted blows to my psyche?

Heh. To quote the Cappy and her trademark peal of laughter..

"Fuck 'em if they cant take a joke." :-)
I dont do revenge like I used to.

I dont get mad and spew and try to fuck up people's lives.

Nah. Waste of energy/too old/bad juju/nasty aftertaste/too many deserving people.

I just do it different.

Then Im done.

However, this asshole ...
The look on his face when he was found out, priceless.

Slack jawed, fish-eyed, shallow breathing, lame attempt to stick to the lie.

I shook his hand and thanked him.

Unfortunately, thats not revenge. Its sarcasm.


As usual, it has to be subtle and it cant be traced back to me.

Lemme think about it.

What, youve never seen my dark side?

You never will. :-)