Friday, October 10, 2003

Age-old patterns

"Why are you telling him the family secrets??? We dont know him!!"

- Inebriated woman on a late night bus objecting to someone telling me about the people in the East Bay

Every lunch hour, the seagulls congregate on the tall white tower of the Berkeley High School, above the park of Berkeley's City Hall.


As the waves of students head back in after lunch, they start taking off one by one, circling and then landing to partake of the food left behind by the teens...

Once the feeding frenzy is over, the gulls take off and assemble in formation, wheeling over the area once and then flapping as one out to sea.

They only do this on weekdays. And only on mid-days.

I used to think that the gulls had developed this in recently, but Ive come to realize that traditions run deep in this small town (Oakland/Berkeley). This has probably been going on for decades.

When I first got to Berkeley, the people I got to know where overwhelmingly of the Burning Man bohemian type.

They made me uncomfortable, frankly. They seemed to embody the hedonistic, anything goes mentality Id thought was the apparent ethos of the San Francisco area.

Their preoccupatioin seemed to be the searching out for parties and events, particularly group sex parties.

There was one anamoly that made me especially wary.

People of color and other ethnicities were strikingly under-represented in the group, even though the folk are seeming inclusionary.

The people Ive met over the summer however, are different.

Seemingly disparate at first glance and encounter, you find after awhile that they are CONNECTED to everyone. Of all different ethnicities, they almost all grew up together, hung out together and stayed in the area.

Guam, mexico, the phillipines, Indian, Korean, the South.. they knew each other.

And after awhile, the ties that bind seemed far more permanent than the flashy bohemians, most of whom were not FROM the area.

I like these people better.

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Ferris: It is a piece of shit! Don't worry about it, I don't even have a piece of shit! I have to envy yours.
Cameron: Oh, thanks.

You know Im jealous, right Clint? :-)

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

What do I care?


I saw a sign this morn that said "Please, please vote and keep the "Ex"Terminator' from office".

Didnt work.

There were people near tears this morn, not merely because an egomaniacal movie star managed to get into office, but because..

"Now people around the world will think we in California are idiots."

Um, yes.

I heard 5 people say exactly the same thing.

But thats what happens when Californians (on a whole) get pissed. They change things. Seismically.

And they dont care if people think they're nuts.

I dont think so.

Just the wingnuts who voted for Arnold.

Still, this is entertaining...

Now, I wonder how many people in the future will ADMIT to voting for Arnold. :-)
The Cubs last night broke my heart.

Tonight, theyre ahead by a ginormous margin.

I care more, far more about this than the California elections.

Today's horrorscope:
You don't know where you stand in a love relationship - how dizzying! Do some role-playing or write in your journal about what you're uncertain of. When then time comes to talk about it, you have a precise question and you get a precise answer.

Part of me just wants the friendship.

Im not in the mood for drama and distractions. Not now.

Friends have been saying "Ah, leave it alone. Bounce. You have too much to do."

And theyve been right the last few years.

Then I decide to take a look at LeGirl's astrological chart.

Holy cow.

No WONDER we're so at ease with each other.

I dont EVER remember seeing a chart this compatible.

Good god.

I shoot it to Poo and she writes back....
Hehe, this is an amazing connection.
It means you is toast, man.

Love, Poo.


And then there is a part of me that wouldnt mind having this Leo and her cat around.


Common sense and experience tells me not to sweat it. Things tend to resolve themselves sooner or later. Not to worry.

We shall see how this goes.

Tuesday, October 07, 2003


"... are the subtlest of traps."

- Neil Gaiman

The camera. The computers. The portable burner and hard drive, kaput.

My writing, my pictures. My work. My plans.

And yet..
That said, I WOULD like to get my California ID already.

You cant do shit without it in this state.

Whats taking so fucking long?
Its been difficult writing without a computer. Frustrating.

I cant *write*.

And yet...

My images, my writing had become less than satisfying, frankly.

'Stuck in a rut' didnt explain it.

I think Ive realized why..

When I used to write, Id decide what I intended to write and then.. (yes, I'll admit to this) .. talk to myself, explaining what I intended to do, why I was doing things. As if to an audience.

It was a deep *need*. Almost as if I was making a script.

Didnt matter if it were words or a picture. I had deep reasons for doing things, and I wanted to tell somebody.

Id gotten away from that in the last year.

Now, I almost never talk to myself anymore.

Monday, October 06, 2003

Joy in Mudville

Ahhh, its not so bad.

Da Bears beat the Oakland/LA Raiders yesterday.

And the Cubs can win their first championship in 95 years...
''We got drunk, sober and now we're headed back to the state of intoxication,'' said Rodriguez, 32, a Chicago police officer wearing a jersey with Cubs pitcher Mark Prior's name and number. ''This is once in a lifetime. How could we miss this party?''


And because I'd take him to Major League games when he was a kid, LilBro wants to treat me to a game if the Yankees and the Cubs go to the World Series.


Life is not so bad. :-)

Today's horrorscope:
Lately, peace of mind has eluded you.

And how.
If you must know, it's because your destiny lies in a new direction. The Cosmos has resolved to detach you from old comfort zones and will result to all kinds of mischief to do it.

Mischief. Yeah. Voodoo. Gremlins. Alla dat. Gargh.

I feel like there is nothing to do but to start over. The next logical step.
Like it or not, nothing is standing still in your life. The best coping device is a secret from the past. Think about it.


What secret from the past?