Saturday, September 06, 2003

Brown like me

Like most
folk of African descent on this side of the world, Im a mutt of various races. We come in all shades of brown, pink and yellow.

My family (through mater and pater) is on generally the medium to-light brown side, but we progress between several shades depending on the ambient sunlight.

In other words, we tan. And thats not a joke.

Whenever I'd pick up my father at the airport from his trips to Jamaica, I'd hardly recognize him. He gets DARK under the caribbean sun, reflecting his patrilineage.

Im incapable of getting that dark, as I sunburn.


Ive been out and about under the sun alot lately, and while checking my lip today (little or no swelling), I realized my lips have actually turned brown from the usual dark red.

Wow. Talk about California UV.

My face is about 2 shades darker than my mien, which usually doesnt get much darker than that.

My lips turning brown, thats sorta disconcerting.

But I think I like it.

Name it


.. isnt as hard as I seem to think it is.


Friday, September 05, 2003


Although few people, (mostly Poo) leave comments - Im missing getting the feedbax.

So, an alternative commenting system I think I need.

Im even open to hosting a custom solution from my picture server.

Anyone have any suggestions, you know where to reach me....

joepennant at yahoo dot com


Thursday, September 04, 2003


Like before, it sounded and felt like the rumble of a heavy truck rolling by.

*Unlike* before, I felt like I was riding in the air as the bench I was sitting on kept getting yanked as if it were riding a giant rubber band.

And as the bench vibrated and rode, for a bit.

Silence. Then:


I sure did.

And I want to be in the open the next time that happens.

No.. EVERY time that happens.

Kissed by a spider

I woke up
this morn with my lower lip sorta swollen and numb.

I went back to sleep.

The nice lady cop who woke me up later suggested that I might have been bitten by a spider, that it was really swollen and if I felt at all dizzy or nauseous to get my ass to the hospital promptly.

I took the citation and thanked her. But I felt fine, if slightly silly with a swollen lip, so I havent gone to the hospital.

Man, I did not expect California to be absolutely crawling with spiders as it is. The natives suggest I watch out particularly for the brown spiders, which is supposed to have a nasty adverse bite.

Ive been pretty careful I thought.

Maybe it was an ant. Those are everywhere here too.

Its subsided greatly now, but it still looks like I came out on the wrong side of a fight.

Heh. A nice young lady with piercings and tattoos tried to chat me up just now and I was hiding my lip as best I can.

I think she took it personally thinkiing i was being standoffish.

I wasnt. I just didnt want to talk with a fat lip.

yar, Im getting sick of this.
From today's Morning Marn (tm)
Remember that movie "Love Story"? Remember the catch-phrase from it: "Love means never having to say you're sorry"?


JPennant: *sigh* im not gonna apologise anymore to anyone with issues
k a t e: whatcha mean
JPennant: women
k a t e: tell me
JPennant: nah, I dont want you blowing up at me too
JPennant: :-)
k a t e: what go ahead
JPennant: Do women realize that men arent usually TRYING to be insensitive??
JPennant: jaysus
JPennant: nah, no more apologising for hurt feelings
JPennant: not my job
JPennant: women are silly
JPennant: so there
k a t e: oh you hurt me!
JPennant: hehehehe
k a t e: so , what happened
JPennant: eh, Im just tired of wimmen using me as their whipping boy
k a t e: :-(
JPennant: meh, I aint apologising for no good reason
k a t e: good for you:-)
k a t e: you shouldnt
JPennant: *nod*
I did my level best not to whine, but oh, man, I'm sure more than a little whining crept into my voice by the end of my, uh, full and frank sharing of my point of view.

I think the volume might have also risen a tad.

I was waiting for his full and frank reply, steeling myself for a rise in volume and annoyance from his side.

He let me down.

"I'm sorry," he said.


You want to know the worst part of this?

He meant it.

I HATE IT WHEN HE DOES THIS. By being mature, he's robbed me of the fun of ratcheting up the full and frank discussions AND forced me to respond in an adult manner.

I actually had to acknowledge that he made some good points.

In a moment of weakness I may have actually forgiven him, too.

Look, he caught me off guard.

*grump* I still aint apologisin for shit I didnt do.
And the person in question apologised later.

To give her credit fer being mature.


Random schtuff

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Cryptic Mystic aka Fewl

Sometimes, I worry and angst about time standing still. I get frustrated.

Eh, then it turns out I needn't worry that much.

Time really does tell.

Its like life is a continual Get Out of Jail Free card if you follow your dreams, are patient and chill with the drama.

And sometimes you just know when it happens.

I had a looong conversation today about Poi and Spam and Oahu and Maui and LauLau and a whole buncha other things.

It is to be, and I even know why, although I aint tellin' or admitting to it. I just aint hip as to the when or the how.

Thats when I stress over the unknown. Over the when or the how.

"But youre not done with California yet! You have way too much to cover!"


"Youre definitely in the right place to go to all these places."


Im on the right track.

No worries.
And so, today's horroscope goes:
New faces and new places are good for you now.

Some people, of course, will try to tell you that you should stay where you are and be grateful with what you have, but why should you when you could easily have more?

It's time for a new adventure.

Anyway, as I was sayin....

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

How much is it without the cup?

This morning
at a Berkeley coffee shop:

"How much is a bagel?"
"A dollar. With cream cheese, its a dollar seventy-five."
"What?? How about with butter?"
"A dollar-fifty."
"Tell you what, I'll give you a dollar and I'll take that bagel off your hands with a little bit of butter."
"Hahahaha. San Francisco is expensive man."
"Man, in New York I can get a buttered bagel and a coffee for a dollar.."
"No way. I thought New York was the most expensive place."
"Yeah, but real people live there too. I can go up to a breakfast cart and get that bagel and coffee for a dollar, or go to a dive diner and donut shop and get an egg sandwich breakfast WITH coffee for a buck seventy-five."
"But I thought New York was as expensive as San Francisco.."

And thats when I realized...

People are perversely PROUD of it being expensive here.

I mean, I'd had a sneaking suspicion that was the case, but it seems a silly thing to be proud of.

But now it makes sense.
With the - in my mind, dubious - distinction of being one of the most expensive places to live in the world - as if that fact makes San Francisco on par with the major cities of the world.

No, as one of THE major cities in the world.

Otherwise it'd merely be a foggy and chilly San Diego with nice restaurants, lagging far behind LA and New York in prestige and status.


Unless it comes with GOOD Lox and cream cheese, there aint no fuckin way Im paying over a dollar for a bagel.

Not even in fuckin New York.

Hold that thought

The comments are still down.

Its been promised that they'll be back up. Shortly. Soon.
Ex-AOL'er, boy genius The Kid crax me up.

The rules of retail..
I dunno if anyone reading this has ever worked retail or not, but I'm gonna share with you some do's and don'ts for you to think about next time your in a retail store:

  • Do LEAVE before the store is trying to close (dont walk in 2 minutes after closing to buy shit, it just pisses off the employs but of course they're not allowed to tell you that.)

  • Do put shit back where you picked it up from (Dont leave it 2 aisles away on a peg for a different item, or worse right next to it's appropriate spot but under the wrong price point. Employees have to go around and fix that shit before they can leave.)

  • Don't move signs. (same principle, we have to fix that shit)

  • Don't Open packages without asking (what the fuck, when I was a kid they'd accuse you of stealing if you opened shit you hadn't paid for. but no, assholes come in every day, open packages, and leave the shit... You open it, buy it. it's just a common sense principle.)

  • Dont try on shoes or swim fins w/o socks on (this is just unsanitary, I hope some of those idiots catch athletes foot or something from doing that shit)

  • Dont try on goggles or swim masks in the store. (Now I know it's a pain in the ass to buy and return shit just because it doesn't fit, but the alternative is Pink Eye... just buy the ones you like, clean them, try them on, if they dont fit return them.)

  • Don't Point guns at sales associates.. (I dont give a fuck if it's a paintball gun thats unloaded, or a soft air bb gun. Common fucking sense, I've knocked 4 bb guns out of peoples hands this week for this shit. They do it even after I say "Dont point it at anyone, especially me.")

  • Except for the pointing guns at sales clerks and the trying on of swimwear, Ive been guilty of *counts fingers* all of them. :)

    Monday, September 01, 2003

    Da' crucible o' crap

    are afoot.

    Id blame it on merc retrograde, as it often signals periods of changes, but nah.

    I take responsiblity for these things.

    As painful as they are, these changes, there is a good thing about 'em this time:

    Theyre mine. No one is doing unto me, but me myself and I, Ive decided.

    Im choosing and forcing the changes. THis, a welcome change from having things being done unto me.

    No more.

    There are some things I cant control, so I try not to worry about them, although the way I internalize my feelings, its bad for me.

    I can see it physically. That also has to change.

    Still tho, this crucible, the forcing of change, means Im losing a lot of myself for the greater good and transformation.

    I chose this, and thats why its good.

    Even as it means the losing of my innocence.

    JPennant: I dunno tish
    JPennant: sometimes I wonder if I REALLY need to keep eating the crap sandwich
    tysha: well.. that's for you to decide
    JPennant: already decided
    tysha: :-)
    JPennant: its like forcing yourself to eat vegetables
    tysha: yeah
    JPennant: funny thing about it
    JPennant: everything happening is because I chose it
    JPennant: and thats exhilerating
    tysha: well.. you have to help yourself .. :-)
    JPennant: you know me, Im beyond stubborn
    tysha: that much i know
    JPennant: heheh
    JPennant: but thats ok
    tysha: so have you had dinner as yet?
    JPennant: yeah, Im fine
    tysha: cool
    tysha: i'm off.. haven't had dinner as yet..
    JPennant: Im well fed, I bathe daily and I wear clean clothes
    tysha: that's good
    JPennant: go eat hon
    tysha: i will.. :-)
    JPennant: ((hug))
    JPennant: thank you
    tysha: you have a good night.. (hugs)
    JPennant: you too
    tysha: bye


    Another month and a half of this nonsense, is what I tell myself.

    Sunday, August 31, 2003

    Shaka, brah |m/

    JPennant: I dont know why Im so fascinated by Hawaii
    JPennant: I guess I'll find out when I get there
    SunNY: i think im going to take hula lessons this september
    JPennant: ooh
    JPennant: Im too fat for that :-)
    JPennant: they offer hula lessons in NY?
    SunNY: yeah there's this foundation - hawaii cultural foundation
    JPennant: Oh cool
    JPennant: heh. Didja take hula when you were a kid?
    SunNY: no i didn't
    JPennant: aw :-/
    SunNY: it's okay, i though it was kinda cheezy back then
    JPennant: I got the impression from Lilo and Stitch that all the kids did
    JPennant: dont hold it gainst me
    SunNY: hula lessons were pricey too
    JPennant: ahh okay

    SunNY: whats new with you?
    JPennant: Apart from the homeless dealie and Stella dying? :-)
    SunNY: homeless? the world is your home boy!
    JPennant: LoL
    JPennant: I like that!

    SunNY: im going to hit the Stinking Rose when im in SF in nov
    SunNY: care to join me?
    JPennant: yeah!
    JPennant: Love that place
    SunNY: last time i was there was 1995
    SunNY: looong time ago for me
    JPennant: very long time
    JPennant: its changed, according to Kate
    SunNY: as long as the food is the same

    SunNY: really though, id like to have another meal with you when im there
    SunNY: if you're there
    JPennant: Mmm, I have the feeling Im making this a homebase no matter where I go
    JPennant: but yer wise to not assume :-)
    SunNY: yeah you might be hawaii enjoying the food there
    JPennant: yeah, but the Rose.. def.
    JPennant: LoL

    JPennant: Well, if you remember, the plan was when I got here was to get a jobbie and a room when I got here
    SunNY: is that not the plan anymore?
    JPennant: With the return of my ID's, I think Im gonna do exactly that
    JPennant: I think
    SunNY: still with the ID's?
    JPennant: I got everything taken care of except for my State ID. After that, the passport, then my D/L.
    JPennant: that should be in a few weeks
    JPennant: I can reopen my bank accounts then
    SunNY: yay, then things will really start to roll
    JPennant: yep
    JPennant: Poo predicts I will be a rich man
    JPennant: She hasnt been wrong yet in the last 5 years
    JPennant: from the bad news to the good news
    JPennant: She even predicted the breakup of me and the chica, down to the date
    SunNY: then it will be
    JPennant: yeah :-)

    JPennant: then I can trip to Hawaii more often :-)
    JPennant: mebbe I can even learn to do that hand thing :-)
    JPennant: <-- hand cramps up trying to do pinkie and thumb sign
    SunNY: shaka brah
    JPennant: shaka wahine :-)
    SunNY: |m/
    JPennant: yah! :-)

    SunNY: id like to meet kate
    JPennant: kates cool peeps
    JPennant: you can now, being in the same town and all
    JPennant: if you can both overcome that antisocial tendency
    JPennant: heheh
    SunNY: er, we'll see
    JPennant: LoL
    JPennant: if you like here is her SN
    JPennant: *******
    JPennant: on during biz hours
    SunNY: okay i got her on the list
    SunNY: we'll see if i brave iming
    JPennant: cool cool :-)

    JPennant: partly motivation to get my ass to the Islands
    SunNY: you must, it so cheap from there
    SunNY: :-)
    JPennant: yah, Suntrips is offering $500 airfare and hotel packages on occasion
    SunNY: i heard there's this unlimited ticket thing
    JPennant: yeah? who? where?
    SunNY: you pay one price and can go to and from hawaii as much as you want for a year
    SunNY: is that true?
    JPennant: first I heard of it
    SunNY: i don't know, i hear it from hawaii people in cali
    JPennant: but Id be hella interested
    SunNY: i just never asked for details
    SunNY: you know what, ill ask my friend next time shes on im
    SunNY: i just never asked for details since it doesn't benefit
    JPennant: please do :-)
    JPennant: you know
    JPennant: it prolly would be cheap for you to buy a jetblue tix to here, then a seperate tix to home
    SunNY: i just asked a hawaii friend and she said its from oakland-hawaii only
    SunNY: but she dosn't know how much
    JPennant: well there ya go
    JPennant: is it suntrips?
    SunNY: ill get you the info once i get my other friend next time she's on
    JPennant: definitely, thank you
    SunNY: i think it may be with hawaiian air
    JPennant: okie

    JPennant: Although I gotta save up for Stella's replacement
    SunNY: i know, i miss the pix
    SunNY: but im sure you have enough for me to feed on till you get a replacement
    JPennant: I gots plenty, trust me
    JPennant: wouldnt let ya starve :-)
    SunNY: hehe