Saturday, August 29, 2009
By this time I thought Id be married to a girl named Marsha (she married another guy named Joe after I came to my senses - but that was 20 years ago), with kids (I do want 'em, but eh) and I'll be lying about my age from now on.
I have come to appreciate all the cliches are absolutely true, that you are still the little kid you were when you were 5 and things that happened, good or bad, in your childhood and teens still affect you and shape who you are. Ive come close to death more than once and still think Im living on borrowed time. Ive achieved many of my dreams, but not all of the ones that matter. Ive seen more than I seen more than I ever expected to see. Ive learned that love matters over all else and more people care about me than I probably deserve.
I used to think that Elvis died about the right time, and now I realize he died absurdly young. So did Marilyn Monroe and Michael Jackson. If I were to pick one age to live forever, it would be 36, young enough to still feel like a kid with all the awareness and privileges of being an adult. People under the age of 24 irritate me, frankly, and I now feel for Dennis the Menace's Mr Wilson.
All in all, I am grateful to be at this age and I am thankful for any more time.
For time is precious.
Today's horrorscopes say:
Happy birthday, Virgo! Warm-hearted, intelligent and friendly are just some of the words to describe you. Your heightened level of intuition can be invaluable if it is properly developed. This is a year to combine your creative talents with your instincts and follow your dreams. It’s your time to shine!
Your plans may be big plans, but are they good plans? More to the point, are they plans you came up with yourself or did you borrow them from elsewhere? It's your plans that matter, not other people's. They don't have to be big, but they do have to be original.
Breakdowns often lead to breakthroughs. They always do for winners. Don't let all that confusion go to waste.
Now is the time to rethink the future and to mold your agenda to fit your needs. It's never too late to go back, make changes or start anew. Uncertainty is your enemy, so decide on things that will make a difference to you and the people you share with. Set your goals high.
Entertainer icon Michael Jackson (1958-2009) shares your birthday today. You're highly imaginative. You're also very quick to adapt to any new situation around you. You approach your work with determination and a desire to be orderly. Nevertheless, you can improvise! Privately, you're very emotional and sensitive. Sometimes you feel you need to be protected from the strain on your external world. A major decision must be made this year. Choose wisely.
This year brings many unique and gratifying experiences. A change you've long considered will be relatively easy to make in September. Family unrest is settled in time for a joyous holiday season, largely because of your selflessness and solution-oriented approach. A loving commitment is sealed in February. Gemini and Scorpio adore you.
Make your dream a reality during the year ahead. You may develop a passionate ambition or fall head-over-heels in love with a special someone. Keep your goals firmly in mind -- especially in December when you could have an opportunity to break with the past and new horizons could come into view. During February you may be tempted to go to extremes or take too much for granted, thus losing out on an opportunity. At the same time, however, your focus on business and your dedication will make any endeavor a sure success. If you have always dreamed of making a major change in your life, this is the year to go for it.
Your birth month has arrived, and with it comes a milestone of accomplishment in your career or personal pursuits. Creativity will be at a pinnacle this month. Your productivity rate will soar to unprecedented heights. The middle of the month will bring you Virgos some sort of victory. Perhaps a great theatrical role, the landing of a big new client or a breakthrough in your research. An extraordinary offer could surface that will boost your career and take you to the next level. Maintain humility, Virgo. Those who have supported you along the way deserve as much of the credit as you do. You may find yourself detailing a life inventory around your birthday. Feelings of nostalgia and sentimentality could get the better of you. Lost loved ones will haunt your psyche, and memories will be particularly vivid. You may wake up from a dream weeping. Don't fret. It's normal. We all go through these phases. Communication with figures from your past may occur this month. Could it be with an alienated family member or an ex-lover? Use this signal as an opportunity to express loving sentiments. Allow yourself permission to let go of the past. Concentrate on entering this next year of your life with greater resolve, less resentment or regret, and more emphasis on building positive relationships in the here and now.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Had a dream last night that a couple I barely know were bitterly telling me that I hadnt paid them any money I owed. They recounted every instance that I had put on my blog and facebook where I had money and never offered to pay THEM. Bitterly, recounted *every* instance.
In the dream I was puzzled, and when I woke up I was puzzled. For I rarely borrow or ask for money from anyone - and never these individuals. The hell?
So, when I woke up I tallied those I owe any money to - and there are two. Then I thought more and came up with two more from years back from people I havent seen or spoken to in years, but always intended to pay back. Then I though of folk who had gifted me cash that I wanted to repay, even though it wasnt a loan. Ok, maybe that counted. But still - I hold pride that I would rather suffer than ask for money.
However, going back made me realize something - these people were proxies for something deeper. Not that I was a deadbeat, but in their eyes, I was a bum. Yeah, I might live the itinerant lifestyle proudly, willing to go through poverty while doing so, but in the eyes of many, I am a bum. That may or may not be true, but still.
Even though I have earned serious money over the years, when I average things out since I left school, there have been far more lean years than flush times, basically hard spikes in a flatline.
This coming birthday and being in Vegas has me making plans to make myself more secure, but shit - as of now I am a bum, dammit.
This couple had a point.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
All along Las Vegas's chinatown - Spring Mountain Rd, there are many of these signs from the major casinos advertising chinese restaurants in the casinos. As a matter of fact, almost all the major casinos have at least one chinese restaurant in them.
In addition, they strive mightily to emphasize these restaurants as among the best chinese restaurants in Vegas.
This puzzled me for months. Why would the casinos advertise chinese restaurants in their casinos so heavily, in a place where there are many more and (presumably) better asian restaurants?
Only yesterday did it dawn on me the quite sound reasoning behind all this.
Asian folk are a sizable portion of the casino's clientele and by attracting them with good (and inexpensive) chinese food, theyre hoping to get more bodies to eat AND gamble.
Proving once again, there are actually good reasons for what happens in Vegas. Even the seemingly illogical.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
"One can never change the past, only the hold it has on you." - Merle Shain.
I am trying to wipe that tendency clean. Vegas is helping. I am finding that I am constrained mostly by memories, and theyre hindering, not helping.
Leave the past in the past and all that jazz.
Listening to old-school in the Starbux made me think of this:
My father used to arrest many of the old reggae stars, but he liked them all - except for Bob Marley, who he considered a serious asshole. When he got a girl I had a teen crush on preggers (he had a thing for beauty queens), I adopted the same viewpoint. Still, his music is a part of my childhood, even though I never really cared for reggae growing up.
My pops would bring home free records he got from the recording studios, so I got to hear a lot of the up and comers. I think my brother still has a lot of them.
Starting to do crunches again. Being out in the Nevada sun is making me feel fit. However, many leg lifts arent ez as they used to be.
Getting older, my fitness level has gotten far worse over the years. I dont even jog anymore. But being in Vegas, walking everywhere in 100 plus degree heat, Ive lost a lot of weight (40 lbs in my estimation) and I am even seeing evidence of a six pack.
However, there is some skin sagging evident, and more stretch marks that I care to admit to, so tightening up is imperative.
I still have an aversion to crunches, always have, but I am tired of feeling my age. Hell, I feel older.
One great thing about Vegas, putting your clothes out to dry - the heat and low humidity dries and freshens up clothes a treat.
I am surprisingly acclimatized to the heat. If it gets below 75 degrees I find myself getting cranky.
My theory is that many driving around Vegas unconsciously use people as reference points because of the flatness and large spaces in Vegas. Its as if many drivers get disoriented driving in Vegas.
At first it was disconcerting having to look both ways and over my shoulder when crossing driveways, intersections and parking lots. Then I thought I was just being paranoid, but now I accept it as fact - you gotta treat driveways and parking lots as if youre crossing the highway.
I wish this were just hyperbole, but it is absolutely true. Stick to the curbs in driveways and parking lots and keep your head on a swivel. The limb you save may be your own.