Watching Haiku Tunnel, discussing San Francisco.. seeing shit there I wanna shoot..

"Im already preparing my shoot list watching this."
"They dont want you there."
"What?"
"The people in California. They dont want you there."

Im thinking "What the FUCK is he talking about?"

"Uh-huh. And?"
"They DONT want you there."

Ahh. He meant Californians in general, not anyone there specifically. I think..
Eh. So what if he meant otherwise.

"Like Im doing this for the benefit of anyone but me. Im gonna go there, take pretty pictures, and write my shit."
"There is a sign when you enter Florida that says 'Welcome to Florida: Now Go Home' ".

And the great line comes:

"The arrogance of New Yorkers dissipates under the stoned haze of San Francisco."

Ah.

Well shit,. Im sorta counting on that.

Im not a New Yorker.
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Recently, I was talking to someone who is living far from home, and she was wishing there were more folk of color where she is living.

More of Us.

I pointed out, that not only is she an African American in a place that black folk are not a majority in, there are very few black AMERICANS there.

A foreigner in a foreign land.

I pointed out that because of my heritage, I feel like a perennial outsider almost everywhere.

A black man in America, and a Jamaican in America.

I feel closer kinship with caribbean folk of African, asian, Indian and latin heritage, than I do with most African Americans.. much less everyone else.

Black American are closer to other Americans culturally than they are to me. Even tho Ive been here since I was 15.

So, although I can TALK to anyone of almost any heritage, I tend to not feel a part of most groups anywhere in the US, except maybe parts of New York or Miami.

In other words, even though folk may treat me as a black american on sight - I dont fit ANYONE'S idea of the sterotypes.

Dont call me 'Shug' or 'Nigga'.

Im not African American.

Yes, I feel insulted when folk... "You are so INTELLIGENT". As if that's a fuckin surprise.

I am me.

And yes, I am an outsider.

Everywhere.

Im not craving to be accepted.