Thursday, November 01, 2001

Dispassionate observer in my life dept.

Normally I am not home during the days, as I try not to be idle around the house, even without work.

Today I was. I caught up on some reading, and was patching the britches of a pair of my jeans when I heard a rap on the door...

I opened the door, no one there, but the superintendent had left a legal notice on my doorstep.

County form, giving notice of termination of lease and the date of a hearing.

I noticed my hand shook slightly as I read over the documents, but I was remarkably calm, didnt even notice an elevation in heart-rate.

I put it in with the rest of my papers, and went back to stitching.

My hand was no longer shaking, I noticed.
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Among the books I was reading today, was "The New New Thing". I had read the author's Liars Poker over a decade ago, and wanted to read this. Surprised the library had a copy.

In it there was a passage about the subject, Jim Clark, where it was only when he turned 38 - recently divorced and dismissed from NY Institute of Technology, that he decided he wanted to stop letting life rule him, and to take control of his life.

I feel the same way.

Look where he is now, 20 odd years later.

I dont know what it is about men and their late 30's.. but it seems to be an important point where they seem to reassess who they are and where they wanna go...

Id noticed this among men Id come to know while I was in my early 20's, and swore Id avoid that kinda drama.

Silly me.. :-)
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