Tools

"... are the subtlest of traps."

- Neil Gaiman

The camera. The computers. The portable burner and hard drive, kaput.

My writing, my pictures. My work. My plans.

And yet..
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That said, I WOULD like to get my California ID already.

You cant do shit without it in this state.

Whats taking so fucking long?
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Its been difficult writing without a computer. Frustrating.

I cant *write*.

And yet...

My images, my writing had become less than satisfying, frankly.

'Stuck in a rut' didnt explain it.

I think Ive realized why..

When I used to write, Id decide what I intended to write and then.. (yes, I'll admit to this) .. talk to myself, explaining what I intended to do, why I was doing things. As if to an audience.

It was a deep *need*. Almost as if I was making a script.

Didnt matter if it were words or a picture. I had deep reasons for doing things, and I wanted to tell somebody.

Id gotten away from that in the last year.

Now, I almost never talk to myself anymore.
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