On an impulse today, I jumped on BART and crossed the pond to Berkeley to go see a friend.
Today, I ran across folk I havent seen since I left Berkeley nearly 2 years ago. And to a man (and women), they all asked me the same thing...
"Are you still taking pictures?"
I didnt even realise the significance of that until I was riding BART back to The City, and that was because the last person I saw asked me a further question:
"When are you having your next exhibition?"
For what was slightly odd about the "Are you still taking pictures" questions, was that most of these folk never even saw me with a camera, as it had died from abuse in the summer of 2003, and I didnt get another camera until the end of 2004, well after I'd left Berkeley.
But they did ALL see my pictures when I printed and exhibited them. Which is why they kept asking if i was still taking pictures, for they knew my work well.
Sorry, for those unclear on what it was that struck me, it is this:
They know me as someone who takes pictures. A photographer. It is what I do.
Apparently the only person who doesnt appreciate this.. is me.
Today's horrorscope, naturally, addresses this:
Lately it feels like you're going nowhere -- fast. Retire for a while and do some deep thinking about what you want and how to get there. It might be time to reposition yourself and emerge as a player.
Guess I hadda get away from San Francisco for a minute.
While in Berkeley, I was quite focused about what I wanted. And I thought that hadnt changed in San Francisco, but ...
As I was having a decaf mocha at Berkeley Espresso, a man came over admiring the New Camera sitting in front of me.
He picked it up (instant death normally, but eh - I let it slide), admiring it, comparing it to his Canon 20D. Heh, he kept saying "Oh man, Im regretting this..".
Anyway, as he flipped through the pictures on the camera, he said "You do really good work. Are you doing professional work? Working up to it?"
Naturally, I demurred - but he asked the right question.
There's a lot of hubbub going on right now, but you're not too attracted to any of it today. The energy going on all around you is nowhere near as interesting to you as your own thoughts and ideas.
Stepping out of the action may seem out of character for you, but this is a wise move -- it will give you perspective.
You're close to coming to a major conclusion and you just need a little more time by yourself to solidify your plans -- take your time and don't succumb to the expectations of others.