I always wonderd why I would do that. I'd always thought it was because I didnt feel like I was yet a Pro, but now I realize the real reason. I dont WANT to be a Professional Photographer. Or more accurately, I dont want to make a living as a Pro. Never have.
Being a professional photographer is a hard way to make a living, not that far above trying to be a professional writer and that is far harder.
Today, Ive started feeling good about what Im trying do, because I am doing exactly what I want to do, inspired by Gordon Ramsey. In fact, it was watching his "Kitchen Nightmares" series that really crystallized my feelings.
His practical demonstration of his principles of passion, high standards and fundamental business principles have really inspired me.
And with that, Im happy and have started on what Ive wanted to do for the past 15 years. Actually happy, inspite of being short of money. But that's temporary. I only feel scared if Im not doing something.