My horrorscope for today:

"This is going to be a serious sort of week and you won't be in the mood for fun and games.
A decision about your job will have to be made this week, and the important thing is to think long term and don't go for instant gratification.
As far as money matters are concerned, the planets indicate that you have been too passive.
It's time to go out and take what you want."
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I realized I was being a hypocrite.

As Carol and I wandered Soho yesterday among the clouds of BMW's, Mercedes and expensively-clad urbanites, I was actively sneering at the over-priced places, the people straining to fit into twhat their ideas of what the area is supposed to be.

Then I realized, I wanted all of that.

Not to be an over-reaching wannabe, but to have the wherewithal to be or not be in that area.

To have the cash, the options to wander around with that confidence that says I can pick or choose as I feel, the confidence that only a flush balance can give..

The biggest epiphany of all it turns out, was that I was sneering not at those people, but at myself for wanting much of the same things as the maddening crowds.
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On the mp3 rack:

Erykah Badu - Next Lifetime
Brothers Johnson - Stomp
Shanice - I Like Your Smile
TLC - Creep
Zhane - Mr DJ
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Uhura: what have you been up to?
Uhura: aside from the si site-- which still puzzles me
JPennant: heh
JPennant: just trying to figure out things for myself, and trying to not tell folk to fuck off for passing judgement on my life.
Uhura: i think folks are more concerned than passing judgement
JPennant: and thats the only thing that keeps me from actually going off on them.
Uhura: and isn't the pot calling the kettles black?

Uhura: Uhura: once i stop getting free aol, then i'm going to have verizon hook this sister up!
JPennant: your cheap ass will never do it. :-)

JPennant: Apparently, Im tired of being tactful too. :-)
Uhura: what's the only thing that keeps you from going off on them?
JPennant: That some are concerned for me
JPennant: But it gets old telling folk that all that is happening to me are my choices. Im not a victim.
Uhura: as long as you can see where folks are coming from and why they keep on you.
JPennant: I made my choices
JPennant: I take responsibility for them.
JPennant: No regrets.
Uhura: right. but folks worry about why you are making choices that don't seem to be the best for you.
Uhura: yes, you are grown
Uhura: and yes you do take responsiblity for your actions
Uhura: however, most of your friends see you as a brilliant guy
Uhura: and they are wondering why a brilliant guy is making these types of choices.-- is there something going on that they don't know about?
Uhura: or is there something truly wrong?
Uhura: which is why you get so much noise about your choices
JPennant: hm
JPennant: trying to look at things for the long term, and Im working from ground zero - something I havent had to do in years.
JPennant: problem tho, is that my wants and needs are conflicting
Uhura: yeah, not much point in living life in a holding pattern
JPennant: yup
JPennant: area you moving in a direction you want to be going in now?
JPennant: yep. although its damned difficult to see progress. Theres still a whole buncha issues to deal with.
JPennant: And I have no guide, manual or mentor to guide me.
JPennant: So, right now - Im going on articles of faith.
Uhura: a lot of the great philosophers and psychologist say one thing in common
Uhura: once man's basic needs are met, he can move on to the higher things
Uhura: the basics are food and shelter. know that you have a place to rest your head and where your next meal is coming from and you aer clear to move on to other things atht are equally important
JPennant: zactly
Uhura: take care of your self first, then you are in a position to take care of someone else
JPennant: well put
JPennant: heh, but youre telling me things that Im already trying to work thru hon :-)
JPennant: I'll get there. Dont worry.