A minor epiphany, if that...

I lived in a YMCA while going to school in my early 20's.

While there, I made friends with many of the short term residents, most hard on their luck trying to sort their lives out.

What I found interesting was the majority of the men, while representing all ages, sexuality and race.. were, for the most part, in their mid 30's to early 40's.

Almost all of them had achieved what I thought as the natural progression of life.. marriage, kids, education, good jobs etc..

And in one form or another.. lost it all.

After awhile I came to the firm belief that most had come to grief because of they found three things hard to handle ...

Money, Women (or relationships), and drugs (alcohol, weed, c, etc).

To this day, I was convinced those were the primary reasons.

Now that Im at that point.. I find I might have missed out on another factor, one that only now Im appreciating. (There's that word again..)

I think...

That after the struggle of getting to your mid to late thirties with something in hand.. you might start .. easing up.. for want of a better term.

Its as if some folk go into 'semi-retirement' and ease up in the mid/late thirties after the struggle of getting PAST the thirties with something in hand.

Someone who went thru that.. said its as if you stop to get your bearings, figure out what is it exactly you want out of life before you make another push. (He's making up for it, by the way - mid-40's.. doing it big time..)

So, its good to know, its as if Im gathering steam to make the push....

Anyway, in my youth. I thought I knew the reasons for those guys being where they were.. but I honestly thought *I* wouldnt be there.

Heh. As the guys at the Y used to tell me about crossing the threshold into mid-adulthood..

"Just wait.. you have NO idea.."

Turns out.. I didnt.

I really had no idea. No appreciation.

Heh. Thats what experience is for. :-)