(Urg.. I hate how an intricately drafted post evaporates as soon as hit the "Create" button....)

Lessee.. summat summat summat.

Oh yeah. How a seemingly minor decision has far reaching consequences.

Now that Ive decided to put down roots in the Bay (or - 'in the Yay'), the expected consequences are happening, fast and heavy.

TO most, it seemed a foregone conclusion that Ive decided to commit to here, considering how long Ive been here now.

Eh, no.. not unless youve clocked on to my amazingly commitment-phobic mentality, contrary to my stolid exterior. It was never a sure thing I would consider this, the Bay Area, a home base.

Im still too suspicious of this place. But for the forseeable, yeah.
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Im moving from where Ive been since the start of the year.

A) I HATE moving.
B) Jaysus, Ive got a lot of shytte. Big backpack, big bag, laptop bag.

No, still too much stuff.

What it is I actually hate, is the transition between states of change.

What Im thankful for is that it doesnt un-nerve me as it wouldve a year ago.

I am tired tho. I'd like some sleep.

But Im too charged up right now.
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I was talking to a dear friend the other day, catching up.

It takes awhile before she worries and nags me about my living situation. Where Im living, how Im survivng, and will I go get a job.

Her natural state is to take care of the people she loves and cares about. Unfortunately, she surrounds herself with stubbornly independent folk, who bristle at anyone thinking we're weak and need help.

The irony.. Ive gotten fat here. Berkeley has taken care of me.
She has lost weight, as she is unemployed, has to pay NY rent and skimp on food.

And she is worrying about me. Oy vey.

Still, my friends.. have taken care of me.

I should be able to take care of them.
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At the Berkeley jobs center that I volunteer at (speaking of ironies), Im overhearing a client on one of the phones, essesentially calling and begging for a room to rent or stay with.

Begging in her british accent. Near tears.

Im feeling superior, because the same situation doesnt engender fear with me.

I should stop that and increase the amount of compassion Im supposed to feel.

Er, yeah.

The economy around here is still toxic and there are people suffering.

There are, as there always have, of people surviving.

So, compassion.

For what goes around comes around.
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By and large, the folk I know in Berkeley and Oakland are glad Im hanging around.

Now they want to see what happens when I get serious.

So do I.