Some people drink, some people get high to escape.

I used to take off and go driving for hundreds of miles.

Im in a place right now that I want to go driving and lose myself in the darkness.

A place where I dont want or need to be.

My father used to praise my will-power.. that I wouldnt drink, smoke or fuck around. (A rare compliment from a man who would rather boast than praise. Think about it.)

Heh. That's because my talent is to ask .. "And then what?"

Curse that analytical nature.

There are times when I wish I WOULD drink, smoke and fuck around without conscience.

Now is one of those times.

But thats not me, Im not good at it and it rarely makes me happy or calm when I try.

Shit.

Unfortunately, I can feel myself slipping into that mode, which means I just dont want to be around some folk right now.

A place where I dont want or need to be.

What do I want? My financial reserve back to normal, people who shouldnt fear being straight with me, a sure partner with whom I can relax and be myself.. . I guess.

Part of trying to become a better man however, is to not let people affect my mood or attitude.

Part of becoming a better man is to not blame others for how I live my life.

And live my life.

But right now, I just wanna go driving.
-----------
Although I havent taken a whole lotta pix recently, here a few random ones..





Katyn Forest Memorial, Exchange Place, Hoboken





Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum, Times Square





42nd Street between 7th and 8th Avenues





Battery Park





2nd Avenue and 2nd Street, East Village





Journal Square, Jersey City, NJ
-------------------------

I guess I should go to bed..

HappyCat just padded into the office chirping at me.

Just jumped on the chair behind my back, taking station...

Some people would call it affection, I think he just wants his bed-warmer.....

Ok, ok.
----------------------