*whawumpf*

THAT seemed to be an odd noise coming from above my head, as I walked down the street with my mugga coffee and newspapers in hand.

The kid standing outside his house said:

"The birds are dive bombing everybody. They were pecking on my head yesterday."

I looked up, and sure enough there was a jay on the wire above my head.

Okie. No wonder the doves have been in a tizzy the last coupla days, making that coo-cooing noise.

Spring. Mating seasons. The eggs musta been laid.

The mustang convertible-driving old lady exercising past me said.. "Ahh yeah, the birds are after you too eh."

She pointed to the cats walking closely, actually skulking behind her heels... "My cats are following me in... they dont wanna stay outside because of them."

Hmm.

As much as I like small animals, if they caused me to drop my 24 oz mugga Toasted Pecan coffee that I WALKED to the 7-11 to get.. I intended to whack them beyond senseless ... screw if they had offspring in the nest to take care of.

I dont give a damn.

Im cranky if I dont have my coffee, donuts and New York Post in the morn.

Wait. My SUNDAY coffee and my SUNDAY Post?? Whoo..

The birds musta sensed the evil intent. They didnt come close again.

----
South Florida news from the sunday papers:

Driver killed after hitting 11-foot alligator

*shrug* What? Havent seen any around here..

Diver's family sues over drowning in golf course lake.

Yes. Scuba-diving for golf balls.

Canals filled with junk. Also shopping carts and the occasional body.

The canals are a flood control measure. In the pricier neighborhoods.. theyre 'waterfront' property.

In my eyes.. 'waterfront' = 'flood zone'.

In Vote Fraud appeal, Court told defendant's wife was lawyer's prize if he lost

Vote fraud.. a tradition in Florida? Hmmmm.

The 'trophy' wife? This IS South Florida where the trophies are willing, sooo...


Elderly golfer gets stuck in swamp, takes a nap, then signals for help

No, really. I couldnt make that up.