Warning.. this is a rant.. Im gonna be letting loose because I cant take this kinda silly shit anymore... no names are named.. if you feel a bullet coming that possibly has your name on it.. duck.. because it likely is not you and probably doesnt concern you... and this is what this rant is about....

The actor Rip Torn was recently quoted as saying: "When a woman graciously shares herself with me, I return the favor and keep it private."

I paraphrase. I understand.

Now, I dont talk to many people or online about my sex-life, partly because there's not much to tell, partly because Im embarrassed that there's not much to tell and partly because what there is of it.. I keep private.

As verbose as I am, I AM a private person. I dont talk about everything.

Yesterday, I got an ANGRY letter from a woman.. basically telling me I needed to get my ass in gear.
Hmm. I didnt like the tone, even though it was valid advice.

But, this was far angrier than warranted... I had seen it before..

Ahh, yes.. this letter was in response to a letter I had sent to two people, one of them a young woman prettier than she was and had been interested in at one time.

She did NOT like the young woman. And apparently still didnt.

If I had blind copied that letter.. she wouldnt have been in the 'mood' she said she was in.

Jesus. Not even platonic friendship is immune from psycho jealousy???

Now this is where people would start 'assuming'.. that I read too much into it.

Dont assume. I dont make snap judgements.

I may misread the level of intent, but no, Im quite good at recognising patterns.

This woman and I have had a slight history, and because of the paucity of privacy in New York it didnt become a history.

Plans were made, promises were made, bedding was bought :-)

But it bothered me that she showed intense jealousy to even women I knew only online. Think about that for a second.
To this DAY, she still remembers who these online people - most of them Ive forgotten.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention she was, and is still with the father of her daughter?

Her jealousy, from someone who wasnt even MINE, was the reason I called the whole expedition off. She agreed that her jealousy was rather insane.

I used to hate being the nice guy, the big guy, the black guy. The guy young woman liked the attention from .. but be with? Sleep with? *shudder*
After being resentful of women liking pretty boys, rich boys, white boys, bad boys.. I grew resigned to it, and found there was a wonderful flip side to it all.

I was free from most of the drama! I could have as friends beautiful women, young women, old women, bright women, even gay women! I could be myself, I didnt have to play games, dress up etc etc.

And I could avoid the drama that comes with being involved.(Except when lending an ear as the agony aunt.)

And if I like you beyond that, I could simply tell you.

Even better, as I grew older, I found that I didnt have to be lonely if I didnt want to be. There are a lot of women who like big guys, black guys and yes.. even nice guys.

Cool. So I could be alone and not have to be lonely. Wow. Cool beans. :-)

Almost the best of all worlds.

But that jealousy...

Recently I was walking down the street with my not-yet-faded Puerto Rican beauty of a neighbor when I bumped into a local woman who, I'd had lunch and coffee with, I had thought, had come to the agreement that we were friends. What with her estranged hubby, estranged boyfriend and kids, y'know.

Hey, if yer over 30 - youve got a history.

"Why havent you called? You couldve stopped by... Oh, I didnt realize you were with..."

"Oh. Nah. My neighbor. This is *****, my neighbor. ***** meet *****. **** meet *****"

And then I noticed much shade was being thrown on both sides, distance being kept, wary pointed looks.. Oh jeez.

I concluded that interview, promised Id write and we said our good-byes.

Ive always assumed that if things are platonic, you live your lives and I can live mine.

There should be no need for drama. Or jealousy.

There shouldnt. It all about respect. And on my side, peace and quiet.

I understand the emotion. I dont get the intent.

Oops. Gotta cut this short.

I gotta go get ready to have lunch with someone.

Who?

A friend.

I am not going to discuss it.

Its none of your concern.
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