Never assume because...

Excerpt from my birth chart

For you, probably the most important aspects of a relationship are integrity and security. You will persevere through many trials in order to make an affair work out, as long as you feel that your partner is equally committed.

Your preference is for straightforward simplicity in a relationship. You want your partner to tell you the truth at all times so you know right where you stand. In return, you are scrupulously honest with your lover, even when it hurts.

It applies to friends AND lovers.

This is why I ALWAYS give these instructions: "Tell me what's up, even if I might not like it, I wont trip. Just tell me."

Heh. Maybe I simply give 'em too much credit, cuz invariably I will getsilence, then the truth much later with much drama.

Oy I HATE that.

So I have to be pre-emptive when I see the signs. Cuz if I dont know whats up, I have to assume the worst.

Oy I HATE that.

The ones who tell me whats up stay my friends for a long long long time. Cuz loyalty is a big deal for me. No, I dont need to know everything or even the whole truth.. just tell me whats goin on. Really, thats it.

Instead, my defensive mechanisms have to kick in and then I have to treat people like idiots and drunken suspects.

Did I mention that I hate doing that too?

The result for those is that I stay friends with the ones that treat me like I have sense.

With the others, I have to assume everything is never on the up and up and I wont trust for years. If ever.

Years. It takes that long for me to relax.

So this segues into another little pet peeve.

Talk to me. Not oblique messages, not play on words, talk *directly* to me. If I want you out of my life, I would have left NO open channels of communication.

I will always leave one open, so that someone can always be able to talk to me.

Otherwise, I just assume the message is not for me and ignore you. As its not my problem or business then.

Yeah, I know - that "like it or lump it" attitude doesnt please everyone, but shit.

Its all about respect.

It goes both ways.

--------
And then, sometimes...

It's not worth caring about.